Rebooting, Motivation and talking to girls

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by never_again, Sep 8, 2017.

  1. never_again

    never_again Fapstronaut

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    Okay let's start off by how I've been pmo all this week . And somehow even though I know I'm supposed to quit , the motivation has died out ... I go a week then come back to it , I have began to believe that maybe it's not the real issue. I've recently stopped talking to girls . And even though I want to I just can't seem to approach them. Even the ones I already know ! . Today was the height of it . I was sitting with this girl, I had met a couple of months ago . I knew her name , I remembered everything about her , but I just sat beside her and acted like I didn't know her. All through the class I wanted to turn and say hi but I just couldn't . I didn't used to be like this. Help me out guys , I need to start I think , right from the beginning...
     
  2. tin_man

    tin_man Fapstronaut

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    Reading from your comments, your motivation problem may be something that is causing your dilemma of talking to girls. What exactly do you want to achieve with nofap? How are you trying to accomplish this goal? There is a youtube channel that specifically addresses this issue, called "Matts What it is nofap". He makes some interesting points on this type of problem. About your motivation dieing down, I realize that this is difficult to maintain because I used to be in your shoes as well. I usually try to reprogram my mind to find pleasure doing something else, such as reading. Hope this is helpful.
     
  3. robertgianni1976

    robertgianni1976 Fapstronaut

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    @never_again I think tin_man came up with great ideas. There are literally thousands of ways to bring beauty, diversity and dynamism into your life: music, sports, walking, laughing with friends, exchanging ideas on forums or YouTube, to name only a few that require spending little money or no money at all. If you are thinking about your future, you may consider learning foreign languages, computer skills and any other skill that could help you earn money. The Internet is a great source for those who want to learn History or about other cultures and traditions. Team sports like football or soccer should be practiced by every young person in order to boost their self-confidence and look good.

    Life and happiness work in a very strange counter-intuitive way. For example, focusing on girls and money will never bring you girls and money. But focusing on self-improvement will bring you everything: satisfaction, respect, friends, connections, money (or at least a decent salary), status, etc.

    Now, a few words about the real cause of addiction. Lots of people are convinced that their addictions are caused by past traumas or problems. While it is crucial for us to know and analyze our past traumas in order to improve ourselves and move on, they are not the real cause of our addictions. If you look around, you'll notice that any type of person can become an addict: rich or poor, lazy or hard-working, with or without past traumas. That means the real cause of our addiction is our weakness and lack of determination. So I think the next time we feel the urge to masturbate we should take the right decision and simply choose not to do it.
     
  4. CompulsiveCrab

    CompulsiveCrab Fapstronaut

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    I go through this too man. I always had trouble with reintroductions. My anxiety tells me they don't remember me, and so I ignore them. Then I feel fake as hell and scream inside my head with frustration.
     
    never_again likes this.
  5. never_again

    never_again Fapstronaut

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    I think you guys are right , maybe I've kept on overthinking it and hence I'm unable to take any action on it. Fighting the addiction ... It does get better after a few days but still I get those urges. @CompulsiveCrab man I feel you . It feels completely ridiculous doing that. And what's worse is that you tend to keep doing that again and again
     
    NewManV likes this.
  6. NewManV

    NewManV Fapstronaut

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    Stay strong man, I went through something similar last week. I have been trying to stop porn for at least a year, and I made great progress in the last several months. Then stress, self-hate, etc kicked in and I relapsed bad. It's what led me to this site. Everyone is here to help everyone succeed. A slip-up isn't too bad as long as you bounce back and don't binge. Keep fighting and move forward.
     
    Hitto likes this.
  7. Scorpion24

    Scorpion24 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe you need to work kindness into your life. If you are a compassionate person you can relate with people easier.
    Google "zenhabits A Guide to Cultivating Compassion in Your Life, With 7 Practices"
     
  8. kasty

    kasty New Fapstronaut

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    Whenever these thoughts come across the first thing I try to do is getting out of my current enviroment to a place where P or M isn't gonna be possible, you should try to always get rid of the things that intrigue these stuff like sexy pictures or memes on your facebook wall, try to sleep early and don't stick until 1 or 2 AM as you will be way weaker during these times and those are the times that the thoughts are mostly invoked in.
     
    NewManV likes this.

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