Relapse - I don't even feel guilty about it any more

It's difficult to say. I've had such thoughts about - if it's okay to relapse.

Some have said that if one were to masterbate and orgasim whilst thinking about porn, then one hasn't really moved away from the addiction.

Also, if one starts to increase the frequency of the mo within a short period of time, it's possible to become bored and thr cycle continues.

 

Man ... you are 100% correct.

In the book, Willpower Instinct, she describes studies that show people who feel guilt are MORE likely to continue to relapse.

Anytime we feel stress, anger, guilt, or any negative emotion, it gives the upper hand to your limbic system, which thinks a dopamine hit might make you feel better !

So yup .... just feel awesome that you are even trying.

One other thing from your post, however

Watch that one. Studies also show that people most confident in their success are more likely to relapse. This is because they let their guard down.

A little self doubt ... like an urge could strike at any moment .. actually helps keep you on your toes.

Awesome streak. Let's see if you can beat it this time.

 

Well, what you think is half-true and what you do is half-right. Of course, it happened and there is no point in being ruined for it. But it is a failure. Next time the streak should be longer. It would be dangerous to think that relapse is no problem at all.

 

Imagine you've been on a diet for 6 months and in that time you've lost 50 pounds, your fit, lean and healthy and feeling great.

Then one day you decide to have that extra piece of chocolate cake maybe even with a scoop of ice cream on top. Sure you feel guilty but is that 50 pounds going to be hanging off your ass in the morning? Of course not! But it will in a very short time if you keep having that extra piece of cake.

I'm not encouraging anyone to relapse either, I'm saying that if you do, try not to beat yourself up. You haven't failed, think about the streak you've accomplished up to that point and be proud.

BUT stay vigilant! Because it's SOOO easy for one lapse to lead to another and another until you WILL eventually undo all of your hard fought progress.

 

When I was younger I had a real big problem with alcohol. If I were to have a drink today I would probably have a drink tomorrow and two drinks the next day until I am drinking a bottle of liquor a day. Some of my friends can drink socially and a lot of people can jerk off every once in a while. I think it depends on the individual and what they are happy with. If you spend 4-5 hours a day watching porn I think it would be best not to relapse

 

Pretty torn between that. Im somewhere between day 25-28 and today I had urges stronger than ever before in my entire life but I was able to stay away from porn but there were exciting pictures and shit on simple social media sites like FB and twitter. I was severely wondering whether non porn related fapping would count as a relapse since porn seems to be more of the problem. Whole reason I started nofap was concerns of porn induced sexual performance issues- presumably.

 

Not sure what to say man.

From what I read I'm not really sure what your plan is, but of course you don't want to beat yourself down too hard after a relapse. However just from personal experience I found that I tend to go on binges once I break my stride.
I just get a feeling like: "well just got my white shirt dirty, and I'm going to put it in the wash anyways, so what's another few hours in the mud?"

To me this is why relapses are dangerous. Maybe it is just me but after being clean for a good chunk of time and relapsing I have almost always binged.

Just my thoughts. But to tell you the truth I really don't know what's right.

 

Patient I can tell you after I relapsed after 90 days that I experienced the same feeling. I think you've recognized something that may seem insignificant but the fact that you don't feel guilty about relapsing is perhaps actually a sign that you have improved. I think you feel proud that you were able to stay off PMO for that long. You've achieved a goal you wanted. It may have not turned out the way you expected it to be but you did in fact reach it. It sounds like to me you understand that it's all part of the process.

"As long as I keep looking to the future, it will remain insignificant."

One slip up isn't going to ruin you or break the inertia that you've already set forth for yourself. It sounds to me like you're moving in the right direction.

Good luck and best wishes.