relapse this morning

This morning i relapse but instead of giving up and playing my violen i decided to force myself to have a good day. and crazy enough it worked. i joked with co workers, flirted with females, and even caught this young lady starring at me (hopefully my zipper wasn't down) but what hurt me more was not talking to the young lady. that hurt me more then the relapse. idk it really pissed me off and almost ruined my evening that i didn't say a word. i felt powerless and all of a sudden i had to forgive myself all over again *sigh*

im about to go to the gym. to release some stress.