Relationship ended because of PMO

Hi everyone, I just signed today but I was already reading before.This will be a long text, so thanks to everyone who will have the patience to read it and I really hope that you can help me with opinions on my story because I really feel bad about it.
We broke up with my boyfriend few days ago because of his P consumption. We were few months together and I knew about him watching P from the beginning. This makes it maybe not so bad like in other relationships where it was a secret long time but anyway. Before we had that conversation that he watches P I was already thinking that he does because "everybody does it" (I almost hate this statement). In that conversation he said that he likes to wacht solo women (he also wathes other kinds of P). I felt so bad about it because I find it something very personal, like if he has a particular interest in that woman while watching other kind of P I could somehow "justify". I remember how bad I felt the day after that, I almost wanted to cry but at that time I was thinking that it's not my right to tell him "Stop watching P"...
I somehow tried not to think about it so much and this worked most of the time but then I started to think more and more about him PMOs and I was feeling very sad and hurted. I was imaging him PMOs the whole time...We had a sort of a long distance relationship and I saw eachother on the weekends. So during the week he was always PMO (I know that from him). We always had sex on the weekends and he even said one time that he doesn't even think about P when we are together. The last weeks before we broke up he had some ED and O issues while at the beginning this was not a problem. Sometimes we had conversations about sex etc. and his opinion was that in a relationship both should have there own sexuality and this should not be only referred to the partner. Kind of his PMO is something normal. Well, what does P have to do with sexuality? What is your opinion on this point?
We also had the topic webcam girls and initially he said that he was doing this before our relationship started. Well, one day I simply asked him if he did that also during our time together and yes, he did it. I was destroyed at that point. My first reaction was to quit the relationship but then I decided to give it another chance if he at least stops watching webcams. He said that for him webcams and P are the same thing, but that he can do it. But since that day the things went worse for me. Even if I tried not to think about it I couldn't stop, especially when we were not together during the week.
He has some depression issues during the winter (always had that) and told me that in the winter period he doesn't have much interest in sex and I was ok with it...until the day when I saw on his computer that he was watching P. This is where the end began. I felt extremely bad and cried many times. I also started to inform myself about P consumption and one day came to the conclusion that I don't want to accept his P consumption anymore (Years ago I've also done PMO but at some point I started to be more critical about it because I noticed that it can be like an addiction. I couldn't enjoy sex so much because I was missing that visual stimulation, had too many expectations because of P and was somehow not satisfied with sex. So I decided to stop watching. Now, after reading science etc. about P I have the confirmation about what I was already thinking on my own). He sometimes said to me that he PMOs when he is stressed in order to relax. He also has BPD (Borderline) and says that his PMO has something to do with that and that he doesn't always PMO because he is horny but just to relax. Any thoughts on this?
So I said my boyfriend that I want to break up if he doesn't stop. His first reaction was defensive and he tried to say that the problem is my jealousy (he had the same situation with his ex, he was PMOing and she was jealous). I sent him some information but I don't know if he will read it. Maybe my approach was not so good because I feel very hurted and angry about him but even if we stayed together and he quits PMO I couldn't trust him anymore, especially because it's seems to me that he doesn' think to have a problem. It makes me also very angry that he says I'm too jealous but he never reflected his PMO behavior and how this affects our relationship, like it's my fault and my problem that I feel bad (I do have issues with jealousy but I can't agree that I should work on it and he not on his PMO) and that many other relationships do well even if the man PMOs. I think it's because the female part often doesn't know about her partner's PMO. So we broke up. I can't accept this situation anymore. I sometimes even hate sex because I connect it with P and something negative (I dont actually hate sex at all). I'm sorry that he doesn't want to "wake up". Well that's my point of view of the situation, I think his opinion may not be the same.
I wonder if there is something wrong with me that I don't want a partner who PMOs? Will I have to stay single forever because "every man does it"? This makes me very sad. At the same time I'm so happy that there is a raising awareness about this problem and that many men want to quit PMO.
Thank you everyone, your comments are much appreciated

 

Thank you for your reply. It was important for me to hear other opinions because I don't really have someone to share my thoughts.
He is 40 and PMOs since many years. As his ex girlfriend found out about his PMO he asked him to stop. He told me that it was difficult for him and that he was still MO on pictures which is for me similar to P and after all he was lying to his ex.

 

I think you are right. I feel a kind of release after this decision but in the same time I still ask myself if I did the right thing.

 

This doesn't sound like a good news for me Occasional use is maybe something that I could accept but I'm still not sure.

It was me. The day after I broke up I had many thoughts like if webcam can be a reason to quit a relationship and that everyone deserve a second chance but with the time I noticed that I can't stop thinking about it, that he did that in our relationship. I will have a hard time to forgive him and because he didn't tell me about that from the beginning I couldn't trust him anymore. So even if he will never do that again I simply can't trust him. I now think I should have done that back then and not wait till now but for me it's still better like this than to wait for years for a change (which will maybe never happen).

I didn't warn him or so. I just told him that I don't want to accept this anymore and he got what I mean. He agreed that it's better to quit the relationship because even if he quits P I will never trust him. In my opinion he simply doesn't want to do something about his PMO.

I had relationships like this and at that time it was not such a problem for me but in my last two relationships it is getting worse. I can't explain that to me.

 

Thank you. I do think it was the right decision but at the same time I ask myself if it's wrong from me to not accept him the way he is (with his PMO) and I somehow blame myself about this.

 

It's so unfair and frustrating that he can't see what he's doing to him and what he did to me. I can immagine to be the crazy woman who is against P in his eyes because you know "PMO is something normal" but I guess I can't do anything about it...

 

The only one thing that I wish now is that someday he could open his eyes (but how if he doesn't have any interest to know more about the issue) and truly understands the damage he did to me and to other women.

 

I'm trully sorry to hear that about your partner and I can imagine what she's going trough. I wish myself that guys could be more understanding with the feelings of their partners because of PMO.

That's the only chance for me and him but honestly I think that even then it won't work anymore. Sometimes it's too late after things were said and done and the trust is not there anymore. I wish you that you and your partner can still make it together.
Absolutely agree about we are victims but we can work on it.