Hey everybody. I havn't been watching porn for quite a while now, which I'm really happy about. But still I remember alot of images and scenes from porn. I can visualize them very well and I think its a problem. Actually I even remember several scenes from when I watched porn at the age of 13 (I'm 24 now). Its like its just stock in the back of my head. Any tips on what to do about these memories? And what are your own experiences?
What I have learned is that what goes in stays in. If I wanted to remember it, I could, but I have to try not to and especially do not linger on it or reward it. I remember, for instance, the first clip of internet porn I downloaded and PMOed to. Pretty tame to what I was watching when I decided to quit it. Porn= watching it, thinking of it, imagining it, remembering it, and porn substitutes that are not considered hard core porn or even porn at all. Looking at bikini models, seeing cheerleaders, or even watching a PG13 sex scene are triggers for me that I must avoid. If you have not gotten educated yourbrainonporn.com is a great starting place. So is this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_RIm9ZMN1I What I learned is that the human brain does not distinguish between pornographic images/thoughts and actual sex, and that since the brain has evolved to reward us with a chemical release of dopamine in response to real sex, our brains can become addicted to porn because that is a great source of that chemical reward. A lot of guys who have successfully broken the PMO cycle say to take time, up front, and try to NOT have a sexual thought, but certainly do not linger on them. I doubt it is possible to have no sexual thoughts. I like beautiful women, and looking at them and feeling aroused is part of our brain's chemical reality, but I have found looking away, not lingering on it, not gratuitously wallowing in that sexual thought, not allowing it to become a fantasy, has been a big help. Easy to say, harder to do. Good luck with your journey and thanks for posting. Reading and replying give me an opportunity to reeducate myself, so it is a big help. Remember, remembering porn and watching are to the brain exactly the same thing: it cannot distinguish between the two.
Interesting thoughts and knowledge you have about watching porn and fantasizing. And thanks for the reply. I really try not to fantasize at all because it simply makes me frustrated. Ofcourse. But now that you mention that watching - and visualisizing porn is the same thing, I see an even greater reason not to think about it. Its like people who do nofap but still edge and/or watch porn. Just doesn't make any sense to me! I try my best to keep all girls out of sight, out of mind, when I'm on nofap. Meaning that if I am to watch a movie alone at home, I Pick one based on the possiblelity of not getting turned on. Recently I wanted to watch the matrix but didn't because I think that trinity is a great challenge to my nofap. And every time I read a magazin og watch television I skip anything that could temp me. I'll stay away from every girl who I'm not face to face with. And for the last part when I am facing some girl in real life, I try to not think of her in any sexual way. Before nofap dec which I'm doing, I was really horny one day and I was just going bananas! I couldn't concentrate about anything other than 'going and getting it over with' so that I hopefully could concentrate and relax. But the good thing was that I quickly though; "alright I have decided to go do this but the least thing I can do is to do it without watching porn". And seconds before I started I just got the idea; Why not try to think of nothing while I fap? Can I do it while not fantasizing at all? And because I was so excited I did it without fantasizing at all!! That was great because I just got it over with. No waiting for the perfect climax, no holding back. Just got done doing it like it was doing the dishes.. I wasn't happy that I had failed but I was happy that I didn't fail completly doing PMO.
You can easily forget porn, the memory will be there but you will not watch it. I think you need to figure out, 1. WHY you decided to stop fapping, and is it REALLY better than fapping ? there are still parts of you which look on porn/fapping as positive, and you need to convince yourself, find GOOD, STRONG reasons, why you should stop PMO. 2. after you know WHY you want to stop. you need to think about WHY porn is BAD!!?? there are parts of you that still think porn is good, pleasure probably. you need to find WHY, and really understand WHY its bad for you. if you answer question number 1, this one will be easy. I'll give you my answers 1. I want to stop fapping because ejaculation makes you lose energy. I become like a zombie. I want to have a lot of energy to do the stuff i want. Also when i started nofap, i discovered how porn is controlling me, i couldn't stop thinking. so i got another reason, i don't want porn to control me. 2. Porn makes me fap..which makes me ejaculate and lose my my energy. I like beautiful girls, I enjoy liking on beauty. Porn is bad for me, because porn takes away my energy. Porn is like cigarettes, drugs for me. I never tried them, because i was afraid drugs/cigarettes will make me an addict, i decided to look on porn like drugs, really, its easier. Drugs are pleasure, but are bad for me. The result? Whenever i see some beautiful girl on the news, i look on her, really appreciate her beauty..wow..i really enjoy...yet i don't dig anymore, search her name..get more pictures. as i know its bad for me. once i DECIDED...and the first days i made an EFFORT an told myself, inner voice..this is bad for you, its drugs. It became easier after 2 days. I can watch girls and not masturbate, not think about fapping. I can have access to computer/internet while i'm alone. The first day alone with computer were hard so I tried to make myself busy at work while being alone...this erased the habit of fapping when i'm alone. You need to create NEW habit in same situation, to erase the old bad habit. I no longer think about fapping. My only weakness now is my wife, i see her and sometimes i start fantasizing about sex with her. I came back to practicing tantra (so i'll not ejaculate while having sex)..so we can have sex, but during week she too tired for this. There is some thinking in the forum, that talks about avoiding any place, situation..that make you fap. In my opinion its a mistake, as you need to rewire in the brain NEW HABIT for the same situation. You need to make an EFFORT, its hard in the first days, to create new behavior and thinking while you are alone, while you watch movies and whatever. ITS super hard, whenever i felt really weak, i came to this forum and started writing about how i feel, and the PMO thoughts disappear...later started to come less and less here.
