Remembering the first time I reached 120 days noPMO

Since quitting PMO I'm also not able to sleep more than 8 hours anymore. Before I was able to be 10 hours in bed or sometheing and didn't want to stand up.
 
Since quitting PMO I'm also not able to sleep more than 8 hours anymore. Before I was able to be 10 hours in bed or sometheing and didn't want to stand up.

Yes. It is funny that you mentioned it, I'm also not able to sleep more than that. It really stresses me if I lay more than 8 hours in bed.

_____
Also: I'm in a flatline. My view on flatline has drastically changed. In my opinion, flatlines are the best things which can happen to you.
Only during the flatline I can sit down, not walk away from myself by doing stuff.

My flatline is kind of funny / interesting:
All kind of negative assumptions pop up in my head and now I truly see that all those years I was running away from self-judgement. I didn't want to see what I "really" thought about myself.

The thing is: I do not really think bad of myself. And those assumptions do not arrive from the inner critic.
In fact, it is the inner child, which tries to communicates its worries to you. But like a (4 year old) child, it cannot communicate appropriately.

So, instead of telling me "Dear Elias, I worry about that some people might not like you. I have fear that they will laugh about you",

my inner child tells me "People don't like you... they could laugh about you".

So. I always used to think "Wtf? Am I a person which you can laugh at for no reason?"
It dragged me down. The voice of this 4 year old dragged me down. But in reality, it just wanted me to handle its worries, to care for this little inner child.

I cannot longer ignore or punish this sweet little inner ME (like my parents unconsiously did).
I will listen to him and tell him, that there is nothing to worry about and that I understand his worries.

I hope this helps you.

Best regards,

Elias Green
 
Yes. It is funny that you mentioned it, I'm also not able to sleep more than that. It really stresses me if I lay more than 8 hours in bed.

_____
Also: I'm in a flatline. My view on flatline has drastically changed. In my opinion, flatlines are the best things which can happen to you.
Only during the flatline I can sit down, not walk away from myself by doing stuff.

My flatline is kind of funny / interesting:
All kind of negative assumptions pop up in my head and now I truly see that all those years I was running away from self-judgement. I didn't want to see what I "really" thought about myself.

The thing is: I do not really think bad of myself. And those assumptions do not arrive from the inner critic.
In fact, it is the inner child, which tries to communicates its worries to you. But like a (4 year old) child, it cannot communicate appropriately.

So, instead of telling me "Dear Elias, I worry about that some people might not like you. I have fear that they will laugh about you",

my inner child tells me "People don't like you... they could laugh about you".

So. I always used to think "Wtf? Am I a person which you can laugh at for no reason?"
It dragged me down. The voice of this 4 year old dragged me down. But in reality, it just wanted me to handle its worries, to care for this little inner child.

I cannot longer ignore or punish this sweet little inner ME (like my parents unconsiously did).
I will listen to him and tell him, that there is nothing to worry about and that I understand his worries.

I hope this helps you.

Best regards,

Elias Green
Good luck on your journey. Sounds like the key is not to care about what others think about you.
 
Hi Elias.
Thank you for your posts here in this thread. I've just read the first one and there are many interesting insights. I like your descriptions of triggers and also the results of relapsing. It is good work that might be helpful for us in a moments of weakness as well as for you. I could reccomend you to try my first article here - there are written my method and insights. It might be useful for you.
What is really very interesting for me - when you talk about colourfullnes of the world. That is suprising - because I see it totally same. Actually I've told someone here the same thing a few days ago. That if you relapse and do it again, the life fall into grey. The trouble is (with every addiction) that for some time, you feel like the only things which can make it colorfull again is pmo. It's not obviously. And that's something as a mechanism of addiction - if you abstain, you can see only the grey and everything starts to be very dramatic. That's why it is very difficult to leave at the beggining. Because the colours come only after some longer time. And it also takes some time to realize it.

Well, as I wrote somewhere else. I've decided to abstain again a week ago. I've had a month of relapsing after three months streak. And I realised my resignation. Mindset is also very important and I've forgot on it for some time. So now I am going for the succes. I wish you the same. Cheer up and go for it.
 
Well, as I wrote somewhere else. I've decided to abstain again a week ago. I've had a month of relapsing after three months streak. And I realised my resignation. Mindset is also very important and I've forgot on it for some time. So now I am going for the succes. I wish you the same. Cheer up and go for it.

I was often in this very same kind of situation. You relapse, then your motivation for NoPMO goes down. Then you talk to yourself that you don't need NoPMO and that it doesn't affect anything.. Until it hits you and you start doing NoPMO again.

Very effective for me was to write a page containing "What kind of pain do I feel because of PMO?"
The list was long. Every time I look at that page to not forget where I came from.

___

And thx to other users. Glad it could help you.

Best regards
Elias
 
Hi,

this is going to be a post about my past, for me and hopefully for others to motivate them.

I'm going to write this because I had problems and relapsed over and over for almost silly reasons.

Here are the major thoughts I had before I relapsed
  • "Oh, come on. You need this right now. You will feel better afterwards. You are stressed and this will end your stress."
    • Ended my 120 days streak
  • "Look, here in this book it is recommended to give yourself a lovely masturbation. So, masturbation cannot be that bad, am I right?"
    • Ended my 70 days streak
  • "Yeah, I know you're bored. You're sick and laying in bed right now, so, it doesn't really matter if you break the rules. Come on, just a peak. Maybe a good porn video. What could happen?"
    • Ended my 50 days streak

And this is how I felt after PMOing for some time
  • Feeling social insecure and anxious when there is no obvious reason
  • Feeling of lower worth towards other people
  • Having self doubts
  • Subconsiously going into the victim-mindset, always, when talking to somebody
  • Having massive brain fog (I could not follow important thoughts in my head)
  • Having some kind of depression, wanted to stay in bed for longer in the mornings
  • The urge to isolate myself from others (because of feelings of unworthiness)
  • Inner criticism got way out of hand (feelings of shame almost always within me)
  • Could not control my thoughts, reacted to almost anything that somebody said (even when I desperately didn't want to)
  • Being/feeling unproductive very often, resulting in feeling sad
  • No inner peace

Things that led to PMO
  • Using social media (esp. Instagram)
    • Seeing so much (half-)naked people makes you horny
    • Seeing so much "successfull and happy" people makes you sad
    • Social media gives you dopamin, and soon you want more (porn)
  • Feeling bored
  • Feeling sad
  • Feeling unloved
  • Feeling not welcomed / not a part of a group
  • Feeling rejected
I don't say that NoPMO is a master weapon, but it leads you to deal with every feeling you have. Simply because you cannot run away from it. So, you learn to deal with your issues instead of numbing your pain with PMO. You mature as a man.

And now: Here were the benefits of 120 days noPMO for me
  • Feeling socially secure
  • Feeling like the alpha in a group (most people want to talk to you)
  • Being productive (you have more time and you will overcome boredness)
  • Higher selfesteem
  • Feeling of "aura" --> Like your spirit is way bigger and people around you can feel it
  • Extremely calm in social situation, no sign of self doubts
  • My mind was totally clear. This was one of the best feelings ever. Never experienced this before in my whole life
  • Life was colorfoul: I remember once seeing a butterfly and I was so astonished by its beauty
  • Inner peace
  • Self respect and selfworth leads other people to respect you and treat you better (it even worked within my family)
  • Feeling important and worthy --> for the first time in my life, I realized that I AM SOMEONE. That feeling is priceless
  • Higher motivation
  • Less worries and doubts
  • More risky
This list could go on and on. I don't know what noPMO makes for you, but for me it is clear: I become the best version of myself.


I hope this thread can motivate you somehow.

Best regards

Elias
This is great. Many thanks!
 
Hi,

this is going to be a post about my past, for me and hopefully for others to motivate them.

I'm going to write this because I had problems and relapsed over and over for almost silly reasons.

Here are the major thoughts I had before I relapsed
  • "Oh, come on. You need this right now. You will feel better afterwards. You are stressed and this will end your stress."
    • Ended my 120 days streak
  • "Look, here in this book it is recommended to give yourself a lovely masturbation. So, masturbation cannot be that bad, am I right?"
    • Ended my 70 days streak
  • "Yeah, I know you're bored. You're sick and laying in bed right now, so, it doesn't really matter if you break the rules. Come on, just a peak. Maybe a good porn video. What could happen?"
    • Ended my 50 days streak

And this is how I felt after PMOing for some time
  • Feeling social insecure and anxious when there is no obvious reason
  • Feeling of lower worth towards other people
  • Having self doubts
  • Subconsiously going into the victim-mindset, always, when talking to somebody
  • Having massive brain fog (I could not follow important thoughts in my head)
  • Having some kind of depression, wanted to stay in bed for longer in the mornings
  • The urge to isolate myself from others (because of feelings of unworthiness)
  • Inner criticism got way out of hand (feelings of shame almost always within me)
  • Could not control my thoughts, reacted to almost anything that somebody said (even when I desperately didn't want to)
  • Being/feeling unproductive very often, resulting in feeling sad
  • No inner peace

Things that led to PMO
  • Using social media (esp. Instagram)
    • Seeing so much (half-)naked people makes you horny
    • Seeing so much "successfull and happy" people makes you sad
    • Social media gives you dopamin, and soon you want more (porn)
  • Feeling bored
  • Feeling sad
  • Feeling unloved
  • Feeling not welcomed / not a part of a group
  • Feeling rejected
I don't say that NoPMO is a master weapon, but it leads you to deal with every feeling you have. Simply because you cannot run away from it. So, you learn to deal with your issues instead of numbing your pain with PMO. You mature as a man.

And now: Here were the benefits of 120 days noPMO for me
  • Feeling socially secure
  • Feeling like the alpha in a group (most people want to talk to you)
  • Being productive (you have more time and you will overcome boredness)
  • Higher selfesteem
  • Feeling of "aura" --> Like your spirit is way bigger and people around you can feel it
  • Extremely calm in social situation, no sign of self doubts
  • My mind was totally clear. This was one of the best feelings ever. Never experienced this before in my whole life
  • Life was colorfoul: I remember once seeing a butterfly and I was so astonished by its beauty
  • Inner peace
  • Self respect and selfworth leads other people to respect you and treat you better (it even worked within my family)
  • Feeling important and worthy --> for the first time in my life, I realized that I AM SOMEONE. That feeling is priceless
  • Higher motivation
  • Less worries and doubts
  • More risky
This list could go on and on. I don't know what noPMO makes for you, but for me it is clear: I become the best version of myself.


I hope this thread can motivate you somehow.

Best regards

Elias
Just what I need to hear! Thanks for sharing.
 
Hi,

this is going to be a post about my past, for me and hopefully for others to motivate them.

I'm going to write this because I had problems and relapsed over and over for almost silly reasons.

Here are the major thoughts I had before I relapsed
  • "Oh, come on. You need this right now. You will feel better afterwards. You are stressed and this will end your stress."
    • Ended my 120 days streak
  • "Look, here in this book it is recommended to give yourself a lovely masturbation. So, masturbation cannot be that bad, am I right?"
    • Ended my 70 days streak
  • "Yeah, I know you're bored. You're sick and laying in bed right now, so, it doesn't really matter if you break the rules. Come on, just a peak. Maybe a good porn video. What could happen?"
    • Ended my 50 days streak

And this is how I felt after PMOing for some time
  • Feeling social insecure and anxious when there is no obvious reason
  • Feeling of lower worth towards other people
  • Having self doubts
  • Subconsiously going into the victim-mindset, always, when talking to somebody
  • Having massive brain fog (I could not follow important thoughts in my head)
  • Having some kind of depression, wanted to stay in bed for longer in the mornings
  • The urge to isolate myself from others (because of feelings of unworthiness)
  • Inner criticism got way out of hand (feelings of shame almost always within me)
  • Could not control my thoughts, reacted to almost anything that somebody said (even when I desperately didn't want to)
  • Being/feeling unproductive very often, resulting in feeling sad
  • No inner peace

Things that led to PMO
  • Using social media (esp. Instagram)
    • Seeing so much (half-)naked people makes you horny
    • Seeing so much "successfull and happy" people makes you sad
    • Social media gives you dopamin, and soon you want more (porn)
  • Feeling bored
  • Feeling sad
  • Feeling unloved
  • Feeling not welcomed / not a part of a group
  • Feeling rejected
I don't say that NoPMO is a master weapon, but it leads you to deal with every feeling you have. Simply because you cannot run away from it. So, you learn to deal with your issues instead of numbing your pain with PMO. You mature as a man.

And now: Here were the benefits of 120 days noPMO for me
  • Feeling socially secure
  • Feeling like the alpha in a group (most people want to talk to you)
  • Being productive (you have more time and you will overcome boredness)
  • Higher selfesteem
  • Feeling of "aura" --> Like your spirit is way bigger and people around you can feel it
  • Extremely calm in social situation, no sign of self doubts
  • My mind was totally clear. This was one of the best feelings ever. Never experienced this before in my whole life
  • Life was colorfoul: I remember once seeing a butterfly and I was so astonished by its beauty
  • Inner peace
  • Self respect and selfworth leads other people to respect you and treat you better (it even worked within my family)
  • Feeling important and worthy --> for the first time in my life, I realized that I AM SOMEONE. That feeling is priceless
  • Higher motivation
  • Less worries and doubts
  • More risky
This list could go on and on. I don't know what noPMO makes for you, but for me it is clear: I become the best version of myself.


I hope this thread can motivate you somehow.

Best regards

Elias


what a sweet and beautiful post about nofap benefits, man! I loved it! Thanks for posting.
 
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