Sadness

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ubix, Jan 29, 2021.

  1. Ubix

    Ubix Fapstronaut

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    It was my new year's resolution. I broke it. I want to cry. I am very sad right now. But, God willing, I'm going to end this curse forever now. Your encouragement highly appreciated.
     
  2. Gishki

    Gishki Fapstronaut

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    It was your new resolution and that sucks, however don’t think about the past just think about the future!

    It sounds like you are very motivated to quit, it’s just a small bump this time but try and make sure you won’t do again!
     
  3. cramok

    cramok Fapstronaut

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    Screw the new year resolution, that is just a ''pretty'' formalia and irrelevant. Focus on what is important, which is your journey on making permanent change in your brain that will last throughout your life.

    Let us be realistic, most of us will fall plenty of times before we make it. That is temporary slip ups, you will learn and can use it on your journey. Who cares? What matter is that you do not give up.

    A tip is to read as much as you can about this process and the withdrawal symptoms. When these occur, which they will, you already know why it is happening and what to expect. Do not make irrelevant goals long ahead in the future, just focus on the process and take it day by day. It is all about winning the mental battle with your brain for the day, then repeat that the next day, one day at a time.

    There is no quick fix to addiction.
     
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  4. Ubix

    Ubix Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, Cramok. You explained it well and simply. :)
     
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  5. WHMvsPMO

    WHMvsPMO Fapstronaut

    There's no magical quality to the first day of the calendar year, that's just symbolic.

    I think it makes sense to think of resolution or resolve as something you progressively build up and strengthen rather than a decision with some ceremony or something.
     
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  6. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    u dnt wanna know how many new years resolutions i broke. ur not alone. all i can satbis it gets better if u keep hacking away.
     
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  7. SaturnDaytona456

    SaturnDaytona456 Fapstronaut

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    I have had mixed results gathering the determination to really stop the habit. I know that I am happier and experience more growth and take more action while on long streaks, so it became a priority to "be on a long streak as often as possible" for me last year at some point. If you really want to quit for an extended period of time or even forever, I would recommend storing porn-ready devices outside your home. I've left my computers at a friends house and it has worked wonders. Removing the temptation is a gnarly way to guarantee some kind of a streak.
     
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  8. SaturnDaytona456

    SaturnDaytona456 Fapstronaut

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    Also I forgot to mention, do not punish yourself because that can harbor feelings of shame. You have nothing to be ashamed of, we're all sex loving human beings. I have some E-Books on shame (and fetish reversal) if you would like me to send them over, let me know. You are enough, even though you slipped up on your goal.
     
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  9. Ubix

    Ubix Fapstronaut

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    Sure Saturn, please send me the books. It will be a favor. :)
    As 90% of the time, it's the shame that has engulfed me during all these years.
     
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  10. Ubix

    Ubix Fapstronaut

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    It's not possible for me to get away with my laptop as I am a Software Engineer. However, I would build the habit of sleeping as early as possible and keep my cell phone away at night from my bed, instead of keeping it beneath my pillow.
    I would try my best to implement it. Thanks for your kind advice.
     
  11. SaturnDaytona456

    SaturnDaytona456 Fapstronaut

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    I sent you the books in a conversation, not sure how that works but hopefully you can see them? I know that getting away from all computers for a week or two is nearly impossible for most people, especially someone who works in software. Perhaps if you're able to leave home or take a vacation at some point, there could be a time in the future where it worked to take a real break from them. Porn is really damn addictive. I am having some moderate urges tonight and I'm on day 50. It's quite the journey. Sometimes it calls for more extreme measures, I'm still learning and have a long way to go.
     
  12. SaturnDaytona456

    SaturnDaytona456 Fapstronaut

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    Let me know if you get the books. They helped me quite a bit. That being said, there is one part of one of the books that discourages nofap which can be confusing because I DO believe there are tremendous benefits to going on long nofap streaks. Long story short- do not feel ashamed, no matter what. You are enough, you are adequate, and you feel the way you do about sex because of things that happened naturally and largely out of your control. You can take control of many things in your life, but you practice nofap FOR THE BENEFITS and NOT because you are chasing perfection. Shame is a result of chasing perfection and lack of self forgiveness. There is something of a paradise waiting for you when you learn to "forgive yourself". That is the main point of the books, they instruct you to forgive yourself and accept yourself for the embarrassing ways many of us cope. We are only human and must not punish ourselves for being human. It's okay to be you and to feel the way you feel. There are an unbelievable amount of hellish obstacles to navigate in this life and sharpening your strategy for self improvement is an essential and ongoing process. Keep learning and keep fighting for YOU.
     
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  13. Ubix

    Ubix Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouraging and motivating advice. You explained the realities of being human. We have to accept the realities and always try to do better.
     
  14. SaturnDaytona456

    SaturnDaytona456 Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely. Realizing the importance of self appreciation and self forgiveness can transform your whole outlook. Nofap is not a punishment and you should never punish yourself for relapse- remember that causes shame and self loathing. You are practicing nofap for the benefits and to provoke personal growth. Doing daily re-affirmations is very helpful. Write things like this down and read/repeat them to yourself slowly on a daily basis. I have been practicing daily reaffirmations and they work wonders for the subconscious. Really learn to love and care for your subconscious mind.
     
  15. Ubix

    Ubix Fapstronaut

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    You are verily right. I have been thinking this way mostly. Will now think the other way round, as you told.
    I tried this sometime in the past for a short time. But now, I will seriously consider this and try to follow it occasionally.
     
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