Seemingly invincible addiction

Hello fellow
I am 17, and have been a slave to PMO addiction since I was 7 or 8. I used to masturbate everyday for more than 3 years, more than once a day. It has brought me much destruction. I feel that it stops me from giving my best and it makes me cringe. I decided to rewire my brain 4 months ago. I joined Fortify to quit porn. I feel that I have made progress in my porn addiction, but a few days ago I realised that my addiction for masturbation and orgasms is what drives the porn addiction. I seem to be just looking for orgasms whenever possible. So, I joined NoFap.

Sometimes I feel as though all this is cowardice. That, "why do I need help to get over this? Am I so weak that I need to meditate, divert my attention at the time of urges and do what not?" I know it seems a pretty scattered thought, but it really bothers me. The addiction has taken a toll on me. In all the things that I have achieved till now, I feel that I could've done better in them. There is regret.

When the urge comes, it seems invincible. During that time, I ask myself, "why do I need to masturbate and feel that orgasm? It will ultimately make me crave for more as an unreal thing cannot satiate me." The answer comes, "IT JUST FEELS SO DARN GOOD! ISN'T THAT ENOUGH FOR A REASON? NOW FAP! IT FEELS SO GOOD!" Not to deny the truth, it does feel good. But I know how the science of it works. Them chemicals and neurons firing. At Fortify, I learned how it is a false feeling. It feels good only at that moment but doesn't satiate me. I sometimes go even go for more than 20-30 times a day. At the end of the day I am left lamenting, wishing I could change the past and get my hours back. I really want to study loads and achieve my goals. So far I haven't failed in any, but as I mentioned before, I haven't ever given my best. Reason: PMO addiction. Bit by bit, it eats my hours and energy and gives me only destruction and guilt.

At the time of urges, I seem to feel very powerless. I do not succeed in diverting my mind. I feel, "that is only a way to lie to yourself. You wanna fap." And I keep thinking about it and try to battle it head-on, but it takes a toll on me. I feel as though I would implode.

I don't know what to write anymore. I know there are no magic bullets and success comes with hardwork. But the time of those urges, its dreadful. Can you share how you battle your urges?

P.S.: It feels great to see that I am not alone.