Brothers and Sisters, Please feel free to comment. I wanted to share this revelation from the book "The Power to Bless" By Alan Wright. The Author is describing an interaction with his young son about a professional golfer who is living a destructive lifestyle. “How could I explain how childhood wounds, innate sin, and deep seated shame become the breeding ground of chemical, emotional and psychological dependencies? How do I explain to a pre-adolescent how a deep sense of inadequacy in the unaffirmed soul creates a gnawing anxiety that craves to be masked? (And helps propagate continued sinning) Simply put that person doesn’t feel good about himself. The son replied I love myself. We have to realize and remind ourselves of who we are in Christ and bless ourselves and each other. This is affirmation of authentic self-esteem. Where there is no blessing of self, our souls are battered into insecurity, our confidence dies and we become prone to fail at what we otherwise could easily accomplish. The inability to accept and love ourselves may be the single greatest obstacle to living the blessed life that God intends for us. Like the mythical figure Narcissus, self-consumed souls are obsessed with their image precisely because they are discontent with themselves. The rampant self-absorption we see in society today is not the fruit of self-love. It’s the confidence of self-hatred. We condemn ourselves and announce a negative future. God and other encouraging people in your life, help you realize your true potential and self-worth. This is where blessing comes in, God and his people will bless and not curse. We are to help others find the good in themselves and cast a positive vision for their life. This is what I want for everyone struggling with PMO. I want you to stop condemning yourself and start announcing a positive future. These pronouncements come from God through the spirit and through encouraging people who love you and know you well. If this is lacking in your life please seek out connections with godly people who will speak blessing and encouragement into your life. If you are an encourager speak blessing into the lives of others.
Apart from Christ I can do nothing. (John 15:5) Apart from Christ, I am nothing. (Acts 17:28) I do not like the language of "loving ourselves," since it smacks of pride. In whatever part of me that exists outside of Christ -- indeed, in open rebellion to him -- there is nothing good and loveable (Romans 7:18). We should not deceive ourselves otherwise. But our God is the God who loves. Even when we are far from him, he loves us (Romans 5:8). Who can say why? That is simply who he is, and it is why he is worthy of worship and our everything. This is why he is Lord. And because he loves us, we can in turn learn to love in that same way (1 John 4:19). We can "love ourselves" by embracing his love for us. We can show we have internalized the truth of our loveliness to our beloved by loving others in turn. It is semantics, but such things matter a great deal, I think! Thank you for your very encouraging post!
Overall I agree. But I do also agree that shame of one's own actions, when willingly imparted on oneself and in the proper measure, is also edifying. It depends all on the person, and in what way the person shames themselves. A quote from a prominent Orthodox Christian saint is relevant here: Pay attention carefully. After the sin comes the shame; courage follows repentance. Did you pay attention to what I said? Satan upsets the order; he gives the courage to sin and the shame to repentance. + St. John Chrystotom
We must be cautious here, though. Shame is the flipside of pride. It keeps the focus on us and keeps us at the center of the narrative. We will not get far if we are driven by shame. It may have a role to play, but it must be a minor one, I think. We will only be set free from sin by love, nothing less.
The Self-love I’m referring to originates from who God says we are, because we are in Christ, not because of anything we do. Shame, condemnation and self-hatred are tools the enemy uses to make us forget who we are and stay in our sins instead of becoming the new person God wants us to be.
I also talk to guys who, because of sin, only see themselves as failures. They don’t see themselves the way God does. I want them to know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made for a purpose. There are trophies of grace and they have many good qualities and talents that the enemy is not letting them see in themselves. God wants to use them right now right where they are. They need a blessing pronounced over their lives. They need to stop putting a curse on themselves and letting the enemy win.
I see what you all mean and I agree fully with what MyFortress is saying, but in reply to Tao, I know there is a degree to which shame is profitable and simply leads to repentance. Shame has to come in doses and, like the quote I supplied, turns into courage to repent and get up. It isn't meant to be a state you dwell in, but a phase that leads to a change of heart. So I personally disagree that shame can be wholly said to pertain to satan. Like all emotions and feelings there is proper use and misuse. Even lust is little else than a twisted version of the God given sexual arousal intended for the union of married man and woman. In the same light, I believe shame has its proper place in the human heart, but must be treaded with carefully as you also said.
It is just semantics. I would call what you are describing as conviction by the holy spirit that you have done wrong and the Spirit reveals a better way. I define shame as there is something wrong with you, implying you cannot change or repent. A better way is not offered, only hopelessness.
I do not disagree. I just wanted to clarify the point a bit. There are some who wallow in shame, self-pity, and even self-loathing -- and think that this is what repentance looks like! But such actions, unless they immediately turn us toward Christ, serve only to keep us separated from him. As such, they are sinful in themselves and no help to us. Thanks for the dialogue!
