Shy and doing the first step

You just have to go talk to the girls no matter how weird it feels like.

Just go up and talk to them. Even if they are in a group… maybe the group of girls will be really nice and invite you to hang out with them sometime.

Basically you just gotta go up and talk to them when you see a girl. It’s a really, really simple concept, but you just gotta take action and do it

 

Should you go all the time to girs and tell her taht you are interested or just general talk and asking questions?

 

All I can say on the subject is I agree with the member on here named Spirituss.

I think you may have communicated with him on the subject before.

Yea just be honest and friendly and be clear about your intentions. Also, if she says no, then still be genuinely friendly about it

 

Recognize what is rational and what is not. In truth you are not looking for what to say, you are looking for a way to reassure yourself, to avoid being rejected. That's why you ask how to do it, what to say. You want a plan with steps. But there is no such thing. You can't see social interactions and relationships that way.
Your mind is trying to find the best way. But that best way is constantly changing, second by second. So you're more likely to get weirded out trying to figure out what to say. Because everything changes, so you might as well not care.

I don't have the answer to that question myself. Simply because there is no better way. The best way is when you are in the moment and stop thinking too much. You take action. And that's despite the fear and all the doubts you may have. When I approach a woman I don't know what I'm going to say, it's a complete blank in my head. That's why I'm free to say what I want when I want and without pressure, and even if people might not like it sometimes. That's freedom

I don't guarantee that everything will go right every time. Because you'll get rejected, sometimes you'll feel like you're doing it wrong, like you suck. But you will grow from these experiences. And with one thing in mind: it's okay to do things wrong. Something that guys who don't approach women and have never worked on their fear of rejection don't have. They’re not used stepping out of their comfort zone.

Right, wrong.. what does that even mean. Just take action. You'll get your own feedback.
A rumination is when your mind tries to find an answer to something, which has no answer. Approaching women is one of them. Simply because you never know what will happen. Instead of looking for that answer, learn to be okay with not knowing.

 

I understand but i dont think it is wrong to gradually raise the difficulty,since it is summer and i live in a big city i will go out and try to talk to girls but i willl do the same thing that i did before,first week or more i will ask just simple questions so i will get comfortable starting a conversation with strangers and then i will start to get more specific,you say that there are no steps but i am sure that there are some ways that can help us learn step by step without going all in from the beginning and putting so much pressure.First you have to start small and gradually make it more difficult

 

You decide. Difficulty is also just in your head. It’s just a limit you put on yourself. Difficulty isn’t real

 

Yes it is but it is not easy to change the way you think and feel,the only way to change that is by doing small steps