Still going strong

Hi,

Its been a while since i have posted on here. To the most extent i have been getting on really well with my recovery and my SO. We are still taking it a day at a time and her recovery is really difficult but it is helped by being able to identify my old behaviour with a different me. To explain this i need to give a little background.

Before reading a book on recovery from an American author i thought i was very mature and succeeding as an adult but the truth couldn't be more different. The book in no uncertain terms changed me beyond recognition, my mindset attention, thought for my partner and so much more has changed and both my SO and me cannot believe the change and how immature i really was. It has been over a month since this change and i never want to look back.

I now pay attention to my partner, don't interrupt and have long and meaningful relationship, intimate discussions regularly. We have been in a relationship together for about 3.5 years and are now only finding out new and exciting things about each other. My outlook on life and general demeanour has changed so much. I have the support of members on this site and literature to thank for this change. credit to @GhostWriter It can be done if you really want it enough. I don't even give porn a second thought now. On the side of that i do struggle on occasional intimate situations to leave myself alone though as i have always since puberty seen to myself this way and struggle releasing control to my partner but we are working on this together and it is fun to discover more intimate things about each other.

My journey is still ongoing and i plan to get on here at least once a week to keep connected and in the present.

 

Hi Ghostie,

my SO still struggles with emotions regularly but we have really good times and talk about our feelings regularly. We are getting stronger together and long may it last. I am glad to find you still helping people on here, thought you lost faith for a while. Keep looking after yourself and the good work you do for so many.

I cannot become complacent on this journey, i'm an addict for the rest of my life and cannot forget this but i do not need to act out any more. i am with a fantastic woman who has stayed with me through this difficult painful journey where she would have been more than within her rights to leave for what damage and pain i caused and she is still working through. PA's please do not forget that your SO's recovery will be far more painful and long lasting than yours. Support them and build them up wherever you can. They are amazing for staying with you through your recovery journey.