Still Recovering (or maybe not), It's been 2 years of nofap

So around 2 years ago, I started my journey into nofap/brahmacharya and I had no idea then, that my life will change so much. On the spiritual side, I've really become awake of the immense potential of semen in our bodies. It's called Vital Fluid in ayurveda for a reason perhaps. "It is not in the nature of semen to flow downwards and dissipate. It drains because of one's lack of resolve." Unfortunately though most of us have used this potential only to destroy ourselves. While I have certainly made mistakes on my part, I was brainwashed more because of western science who denied side effects because of masturbation. When I was losing hair, I was told not to worry, it's not because of masturbation. Same thing, when I used to look uglier, had vision issues, pain in my neck and back - all in my early 20s, the doctors kept saying it's not because of masturbation, even though I experienced more of all these after masturbation. Unfortunately, I was pretty late in giving up PMO I think.

When I started going through PAWS after 60-70 days of nofap, I could just not handle any if it. The Anxiety was through the roof. I had started to think a bit clearly than ever but all I could think was - how the hell I ended up in this mess for about a decade. I had severe regret and anger. Plus, I was losing weight like nothing. I thought it was part of the withdrawal process. But turns out, it wasn't. I had actually developed IBS during PAWS. And hence I was losing weight and I lost about 50 pounds in a year.

I had a long streak for about 14-15 months but after that I had given up because of not seeing results. Not that I went back completely into PMO. I was just fapping because of frustration now. Although I was able to gather myself and start again.

But unfortunately still, I'm in more trouble than I was before nofap. My muscles are non existent and vision keeps turning dark. Before anyone says, go to a doctor, I've been to so many specialists but none have answers except they say it's IBS. That's why I turned to ayurvedic doctors. While I certainly believe in ayurveda, as it helped me to recover from vax side effects (see my previous posts for more on this), I still don't understand it enough to know when will I start getting my life back.

So yeah while I believe I'm out of PAWS, I'm stuck with IBS now. Welcome to the Kali Yuga. I hope no one ends up like me ever.