Struggling for motivation, relapsed today after 7 days of no porn

Hi, I’m new to nofap although I’ve viewed these forums for around a month before now joining. I’ve struggled for a long time now with porn/masturbation addiction with it even changing my sexual orientation as I think more about boys and specifically sissy porn now as the stuff I started out with(so called regular porn) quickly became too boring. I have tried 4 times now to stop over the past year but I’ve only ever done just over 2 weeks abstaining. I tried again this week and made 7 days before finally caving this afternoon. I’ve finally realised I can’t do this on my own and need any support I can get as I struggle for motivation, I don’t have a girlfriend waiting for me and struggle to talk to girls in the first place as I have mild autism. After a week or so the thoughts become irresistible and I end up telling myself what’s the point in fighting it as there’s no one waiting for me, I am alone and don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’m considering suicide if I fail another attempt at ‘fixing myself’ as I don’t see any other ways out. If anyone on here has any suggestions, please go ahead as I’m at a loss of what to do now.

 

Hey, welcome to the NoFap community
: )

It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!
First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:
Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button/
Set up your day counter /
Rebooting Resources/
Accountability groups (new!)/
About NoFap/ Support NoFap

Here is just some advice:
First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you.

Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement.
The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see.
People will find your profile and give you support.

There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team!
We support others in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs.
Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish.

Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate sectionfor you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on.

Please start your journal in the correct section and with that, also try your best to post in the correct sections as it is mandatory and would be helpful to the mods who organize the forum. : )

Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!