Our sex life is really struggling. We have been communicating greatly about it and have discovered one of the problems. Wife says it is difficult for her to want to engage or please me because, for our whole marriage our sexual life has been tainted. I asked what "tainted" meant to her. She says she feels any of my desires, affections, or behaviors are porn or fantasy influenced. That she feels everything I do is out of lust, not love. She assumes that I am always either recreating or playing out a fantasy from my mind or a screen. As much as she tries to put these thoughts aside and be in the moment, they almost always trigger her. It creates feelings of sadness, insecurity, discust, hurt. And it is very difficult to move past. This stops physical intimacy and frustrates our relationship. We both want to move past these feelings and create a new healthy intimate relationship. What tips or advise can help us heal? What perspective are we not seeing? How do we remove the taint of porn?