The last relapse

Hi,
You have spent time on this forum since 2017, so you know that it's high time to try something completely new in fighting pmo.
You can try this below. That is what I have been doing successfully for over 9 years. Because I described "my way" many times for many people on this forum
so I am simply copying and pasting what I wrote to an addict some years ago. If after reading this you'll be still interested in this tactics then feel free to ask questions for clarification what you'll be unsure to understand or for more details.


'' .... My method is a combination of prayer, Sacraments, reading and praying with the Bible and trying to do what God's Word and the church demands.

Because the cause of the addiction are our feelings and enslavement to evil spirits we must start praying every time when a bad feeling (fear, depression, sadness, anger ...etc) comes and every time when the temptation to watch p. or masturb. comes or every time when dirty thoughts come. The Jesus prayer is very effective - I often repeate - Jesus or Jesus rescue me , Jesus what should I do now ...etc. when I'm in a bad feeling or when I'm tempted to do pmo. Each prayer is good but during it we must struggle to keep our mind, thoughts in the presence of God. This presence of God heals us and weakens our desires (for pmo including).

But beside prayer we must have a strong resolution to be obiedent to God. So our way out must start from confession. When we are in the state of grave sins (without grace) then we won't even have the wish or power to pray.

The next are temporary promises to God. the promises that we won't start watching nude scenes, movies or even pictures. not even pictures or video clips with girls in bikini or model shows etc. and promises that we won't masturbate. But the promises must be only temporary for limited time. I started with my first temporary promise which lasted half an hour. After I kept that promise I was free to do pmo or not. And I must admit that when I completed successfully a promise I mostly acted out (did pmo) but I knew that the next time I can have a promise for longer time. After the first succefully completed promise I promised not to watch sexual things and not to masturbate for an hour then (After I succefully completed the previous one) ... for 3 hours ... then for 12 hours ... then for 2 days ... then for 4 days ... then for 1 week ... then for 10 days ... then for 3 weeks ... then for 1 month ... and so on ... now my current promise is for 10 years (3 years already passed so it's 7 left).

When we promise we must be very cautious because we mustn't offend God by breaking the promise. (I acted out only when I finished my promise). That's why the promise must be temporary for a limited time (and we can prolong the time when we feel that it's possible for us and realistic to keep the actual promise). And we must pray each day for keeping the promise and often thank God that He gave us power to keep it. Without prayer for keeping the promise it's rather impossible to keep it. All is God's grace.

The next point is often reading the Bible ( I do it every day) but not only reading we should pray with the Bible.

The Mass is very important but we must be ,,wholely present in the holy mass'' and take Communion.

Adoration of the Holy Sacrament (personal prayer before Eucharist ) is very powerful because during such an adoration I feel being healed from my bad feelings, desires, thoughts and temptations. It's an atomic bomb against the addiction.

The next is to find a small group of believers who meet regularly for prayers, religious formation, religious discussions etc. maybe it's possible in your parish. In my I have many opportunities and I am in such a group.

That's my way. If you try it I can promise you success because the way is based on God every day and He always wins.... ''

 

I am a follower of @MrEcho's method. I can attest that it works and it mirrors what I have concluded after many falls. Prayer is the cornerstone of any and all successful rehabilitations. When my commitment to daily sincere prayer waned, it was not long before a fall.

One of the books that @MrEcho led me to is "Spiritual Combat" by Lorenzo Scupoli. Although this is an ancient text, it is filled with practical advice. Despite its age, the book is not mired in ancient language, just practical advice.

Please allow me to offer one observation about what you have written.

You are right in the idea that entering marriage without first rehabilitating from PMO is not a good idea. However, I think we must also accept that like all addictions, one is not likely to be cured of it once and for all. The temptations may always come but we can learn to avoid them as long as we cling to Christ without fail.

 

Thanks for supporting the method but it was not me who encouraged you to "Spiritual Combat". It was @Eremite.

 

I thank you both for your helpful and inspirational advice.

 

Of course, to move would be the best option but not rarely we can't do it. For example - these negative feelings, thoughts plus strong pmo temptations attack you at 11 p.m. or at 1 a.m.
It's practically impossible that you leave your flat although it's physically possible. The same at work. It depends on the kind of work but I for example can't change the place, move to another room or outside so when somebody influences me negatively I can choose only between trying to pray mentally in this situation to get help and healing from God or I can do nothing ( be passive) allowing to increase my anger or fears or depression or bad thoughts and being under their influence to react negatively which would worse the situation much more. Then after such stressful day, loaded negatively I would be severely tempted at the end of the day in order to reduce stress which would end sooner or later in pmo relief.
So I had been living for decades. I simply had been defenceless. Now I know how to organise my inner defence - I can pray in this situation mentally ( nobody knows about it) without changing the place.