You're all doing so great! I'm really admiring that and I hope I can take it as an example to strive more and become better myself. Fasting is off the table. Because at the moment I'm struggeling with all those problems and I don't think it's a good strategy to try to solve many of them with something so far-fetched as water fasting. I mean, I can do it, but I need to train it. For sure it's healthy and beneficial but I should approach my problems directly at first. It's simply better food, less sugar, more exercise, less media consumption, more work and healthy relaxation, less worry and meaningless activities. I don't need to solve all this first before I water fast, but then, at least, I should be less buisy, with less responsibilities or simply better organized than right now. I think I'm in love and that's motivating a great deal to get my shit together and become a more relaxed, positive and loving person. There's so much to do! What I need the most are daily plans. I need to write down what I need to do, what I have done and what went wrong, I need a schedule. Staying a mile away from porn and motivate myself daily to do so should be my first priority. In the hand it all goes hand in hand. And I should post more, but just with presentable results. Never expecting perfection but always keep moving and working on myself. With honesty and humbleness.
Day 2 This was an incredibly stressful day and I'm glad that I can fall into my bed now ^^,, I'm going to be alone at home tomorrow, I wish for strength for all of us
damn relapsed again today after a long alcohol escapade and party yesterday - I know why I always try to avoid getting drunk lately - day 0 again -.-
oh yeah, that's a big trigger! If it doesn't happen while your drunk it's the hangover that gets you, isn't it? But it doesn't mean you can't have a strategy that works for these scenarios. It's all about motivation and control, I think. Even if you party, you need some type of control mechanism, a frame of recovery, with freedoms but also with limitations and guidelines.
jeah the hangover and shame too it was for me - Sometimes Im kinda weird if I had too much ... - Whats your strategy if I may ask?
Day 89 I’ve been feeling quite up and down today, not really sure what’s going on but I think it’s simply spiritual attack. No real urges to relapse, libido feels a little lower today, but did have a really good conversation with my flatmate’s colleague that made me want to get to know her better. Tomorrow will be an odd day for me; on my calendar it’s just another day at college, but tomorrow will be my 90th day free from PMO. This is a milestone that I thought would be simple to reach, that is when I pledged to reach it back in 2020. To finally be here and to see the horizon is amazing, but there is a longer journey still to come.
Day 8 complete: Uruk-Hai. I'm stronger and faster, and a desire arises to break free from the chains of PMO. This is where the rubber hits the road for me. Eight days is the tipping point, but I feel ready to go farther. The urges were not super strong today. I invited one of the older guys here at the seminary to get lunch together this afternoon, and he had some really good wisdom to share with me. Nothing about PMO, just general life stuff, but I want to make a point of talking with him more often. Can't remember if I said this earlier but on Saturday some of us will be traveling to another city for a friendly soccer tournament with a few other schools. I say friendly, but my seminary has a winning streak to maintain, and I can't be wasting my energy and drive on PMO. That won't do at all. St. Michael the Archangel, pray for us!
Day 21 This was my record for a very long time. It was a huge psychological number that I could never get past. If I got close (which was rare) I would always relapse somewhere around day 20. Today I got up at 7am and started listening to audio books again. I also completely dealt with the collection agency thing I mentioned awhile ago.
Day 107 complete. missed one day and didn’t even notice. My battery is running low. I wish I could relax even when things arent going great.
Here at day 5. Once again cravings are far and few between, although when I do have them I usually do some self talk and tell myself I don't do that kinda stuff anymore. Apparently there's some kind of psychological trick with saying "dont" rather than "can't," it gives you a stronger sense of control over the situation. Cool psych stuff aside I'm excited I've made it to five days! I believe that tomorrow I can surpass the big 6 and make it a full week!
I totally agree with the importance of saying don’t vs can’t. You are not a person who is trying to quit. You are a person who doesn’t do! It’s all in how you view yourself. You got this!
