The Lord of the Rings Challenge

well, as much as you are good intended, it´s not good to have our partner as a source of support. the problem with this addiction is that is different in what it means to our partner while other addictions (cigarettes, alcohol, gambling...) are destructive but they do not directly disturbe our partner in their self-esteem. do you understand?

a good accountability partner must be objective or be in the same boat that we are, and she is neither. she can´t be objective because this interferes with her directly, pmo is in a way cheating.

my advice is what you already did, come straight with her and tell her that you´re on recovery. that´s it. she can do logistic support (help in triggers plan, etc...) but don´t tell her how you´re going. don´t tell your vitories or your failures because this will increase pressure among you.

i hope this can help . big hug brother.

 

totally agree with that. the reboot must be in two directions:

1 - create a new life with better behaviours and habits
2 - remember the harm of pmo, study on the subject and always follow your triggers plan. revise it when you need.

and that´s it . Shall we go my brother, live the rest of our lifes without this pmo bullshit? . Let´s go!!!!

 

sis, try to manage anger in different ways.

internal coping - develop tools to deal with anger in a constructive way. outbursts don´t have good outcomes, while it seems that you vented the feeling, you only project your anger towards somebody else, that probably had nothing to do with the inicial subject. so if you´re angry, recognize it, there´s nothing wrong with being angry. then you can do some meditation exercises to help properly vent the feeling.
you can also talk with somebody about how you´re feeling, that helps, and physical exercise is also good

external coping - develop ways to prevent that from happening again, learn with situation. if you feel like it, talk with your best friend about what happened. tell her how you feel and what you didn´t like. that can help cool the air and heal wounds

 

good luck!!!

 

9 days my dear fellowship of the ring.