We have all heard the stories of hero's and princesses, of knights, of heroics, of star crossed lover, two people destined by fate to be together. Though is there such a thing as "the one" or is that made up. Is there someone truly out that I was destined to be with? Yes or No? What do you guys think. I believe yes, there is, you see I believe God has a plan, some of us are called to be priest some of us are called to matrimony. God has a plan for each of us, if we are called to matrimony then yes, God said this person will come into your life who will help you lead closer to him. Then for those that enter the priesthood, their "one" is the church and service to her. Though through the fault of humans and our nature sometimes we ignore God's plan, we don't go to the priesthood, or we don't look for the girl/guy God set out for us and instead we look at a girls/guys looks. Things like porn and masturbation distort what we are supposed to look for and replace it with ill painted dreams. We allow evil to distort and drag us from God's path. If you would like me to explain my view more just ask, but what do you guys think?
If everything happens by God's will then whatever happens is what he allows to happen and what he wants to happen. He could however want better things for us, and I think he does. But we stand in the way and he respects our freedom. Personally I wouldn't worry about 'the one'. We are called to be the best we can be in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. Each decision we make cuts us off from other decisions. The past is gone. The future isn't here. We should make the best of whatever we have before us. Worrying about what could have been doesn't help us live the best we can here and now.
We should never lose hope if our 'dream' doesn't comes true. God redeems our past, present and future, if we are willing to place it in His hands.
I think it's important to not set our ideas as if they are Gods. What we know from revelation is that God wills our sanctification and that He can complete that work in us, regardless of our past, if we allow Him to do so. There is a flaw in thinking all men who become priests were never meant to be married. What many do not understand is that there are lots of priests who have sacrificed the goods of marriage and "the one" in order to pursue the priesthood. What's uncommon place today is the thinking that all are not called to religious life or the priesthood first. Many pursue religious vocations only after "striking out" in the dating world, when in the past young men and women first pursued vocations to the religious life and only after being denied did they start seeking out the vocation to marriage. The reasoning behind this is simple in that the religious life provides you with an easier route to heaven. You have a Rule, dedicated prayer time, and etc etc., all things which help one conform their will to Gods. These things -while not impossible in marriage- are nonetheless difficult to accomplish within marriage due to the many cares of the world and chaotic schedules. Lastly, the reasoning behind discerning the religious life first was a way to give God first dibs so to speak regarding your service.
I guess it's time to tell my tale. Since my youth, I had conflicting desires between wanting a relationship with women and pursuing religious life. I suffered many rejections from girls, and somehow that led to me to think that the religious life was my calling. However, with all the blows in life, I sought solace with this nasty PMO habit which I could not get rid off no matter how much I prayed or tears I cried. Finally, when I was seeking entry into the seminary, I got turned away ironically for 'being too rigid'. I was offered entrance in a different order but I could not pursue that path with peace in my heart. Right now I'm trying to see where God is leading me to. Perhaps if I had started getting help years ago, I could have gotten in. Although I will forever live with the the guilt that I destroyed own vocation, I will need to work out my penance for the rest of my life. By the way, that Youtube channel is excellent for its solidly orthodox and traditional stance. There are other videos which will help form habits in avoiding PMO and developing virtues.
In my opinion, this is an unhealthy way to go about your spiritual life for the main reason that you still do know what your vocation is, so why are you feeling guilty for destroying it? What you feel guilty for is not achieving what you believed your relationship/vocation should have been so you're still imposing your own will on your spiritual life. I would recommend praying for the grace to let go of your self-imposed guilt and to trust in the mercy and healing power of God who can do all things. Even penances themselves can be corrupted by our own will when we make up self-imposed penances which have not been given to us by a confessor or by the Church.
