Tips?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by GSM, Aug 10, 2018.

  1. GSM

    GSM Fapstronaut

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    Anyone got any tips for quitting porn?, feeling down, I've been trying to quit for almost 1.5 years, I just seem to keep coming back to porn... please help
     
  2. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    I was chatting with @IAmLegion recently about this, here's the quick brain-dump I came up with.
    • Engage with the community here (you are doing that!) by reading and commenting on threads and journals.
    • Keep a journal.
    • Be as honest as you can. Don't post what you think you should, write what you really feel, especially in your journal. If you have bad thoughts then think them through in your journal.
    • I am a deeply social creature so I think being here helped me in-and-of-itself.
    • Use the numbers. As your porn-free streak grows people look up to you. I do not want to disappoint them.
    • This one sounds trite, but I found the phrase "No, I do not do that anymore" really helped me (thanks @DayOne44). Sometimes I would feel my resolve snap and I would know I was going to open a browser and immerse myself in porn. But even though all was lost I could still remind myself "no, I don't do that anymore" and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. We do not need to be strong, just strong enough.
    • I was not planning to give up masturbation, just porn. But I gave it a try as so many men here recommended it. It has been really useful as it provides an extra line of defense (like the inner and outer walls of a castle)
    • Write down the reasons that you are giving up porn.
    • This one's harder and a bit contentious, but write down the positive things porn gave you. There are reasons porn got such a foot-hold in your psyche. Don't be afraid to acknowledge them. That way you'll be better able to find alternatives or just work them through in your mind
    • Recognise your triggers and danger-zones. A journal really helps here. For example if I have a stressful deadline and work late into the night I am likely to succumb to porn. So now I avoid that situation, and when I really have to stay up late working I make sure that I go to bed before my resolve crumbles.
    • I guess a lot of these can be summed up as "know yourself". That's been one of the great things about this reboot, I have learnt so much about myself.
    I've put a table of contents in the first post of my journal. That helps me flick back to the important posts. Take a look if you want more.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2018
  3. IAmLegion

    IAmLegion Fapstronaut

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    As the gentleman above me has stated, i really recommend you give all those points a good thought.
    Quitting porn was honestly never even a considerable issue for me actually but quitting masturbation certainly is. Nevertheless, you can't really quit m without first quitting the big bad p. Add these points to the tally:
    1. Porn is filmed professionally. There are double, triple and even quadruple takes for some scenes to get all the "action" right. Just think for a second how much agony both the individuals might be in. I'll just give the guy's angle here- imagine nutting over 10 times in 2 hours (assuming that a full scene with all the takes- both successful and unsuccessful does even take that long). That is agonising.
    2. The women are plastic. Literally. What you see is implants, oil, lies and lighting. It's an illusion and your semen is going drip-drop to a woman who'll never even see or give half a shit about you.
    There are many many more points but i'm a bit caught up at the moment so i'll take my leave.
    Oh and yes: stay busy. That's an easy counter to it. So are cold showers. And exhaling deeply. You can't get a boner on an empty set of lungs. Try it!
     
  4. GSM

    GSM Fapstronaut

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    @IAmLegion @kropo82, thanks for the tips i'll try to keep a journal for this new streak :)
     
    control your life likes this.
  5. IAmLegion

    IAmLegion Fapstronaut

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    That'll really help :D
     
    control your life likes this.
  6. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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  7. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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  8. Banjaxed

    Banjaxed Fapstronaut

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    If I can add a lighthearted suggestion, it would be to get a vasectomy! I was told no fapping/sex for 2 weeks post snip. I had one MO in the shower after 14 days and that’s been it ever since (that was 22 June)

    Of course I am only abstaining and only just now starting to scratch the surface of my actual recovery.

    I would second the advice above to just say “no” to yourself. This has been working for me and also worked with my earlier compulsive eating.

    The other thing that helps me was understanding the science behind it (I read Your Brain on porn) and rationalizing the feelings/emotions I was having. I almost exernalize my thoughts, floating or of my body and thinking “yes, this is just the brain doing this and that, how interesting”

    Getting to 60 days has taken a combination of techniques like that in practice. The abstention has given me the breathing space to really think about things, and to begin to plan my recovery process.
     
    control your life and GSM like this.
  9. Charfonglee

    Charfonglee Fapstronaut

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    thanks man, I’ll keep these in mind as I start the second third of my journey.
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  10. Charfonglee

    Charfonglee Fapstronaut

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    I definitely recommend immersing yourself in a real life community dedicated to giving up porn, for me it took real life friend ships to make quitting possible
     

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