Posting here to seek out some support. I've been on no PMO for about 26 days, and my goal is to keep no PMO for at least 30. My wife has been super supportive and we're planning to make O ok with intercourse after day 30. I'm in the final stretch and its becoming difficult. My thoughts turn increasingly to porn (hentai specifically if it matters) and I know the next few days are really going to be a test. Give me your support and energy! As a side note, what are people's thoughts on transitioning from no PMO to no PM in a relationship with intercourse? So far we've been having sex (which by the way, has become way more satisfying and intense) without me orgasming but that isn't very satisfying for us both long term, but it seemed like a good short-mid term goal.
I found the difficulty was the chaser effect, i.e. the day after orgasming the lure of porn intensified. But there's a saying: "forewarned is forearmed" and if you know it's coming you can prepare yourself. And, of course, it's worth it! Shared physical intimacy is an important part of most marriages. Winner! There are lots of ways you could have responded. Our Reset and Relapse Reports forum is full of addicts who made the wrong choice. You didn't, you came here seeking support. That's a real win and shows how comitted you are to beating your addiction. You've got this. As the days tick by those difficult patches become fewer, with longer calm stretches between them, and less intense. But the early days are hell. Make sure that you identify your triggers and that you have a bag of effective techniques to deal with the temptations. The triggers and techniques may change during your reboot, so keep doing your recovery work. That's exciting. Are you going to do a special 'date night'? That makes such a difference. Is she doing anything to heal from her own hurt too?
One more successful day. Definitely encountered a lot of triggers that I had to adjust to and avoid. Two more tough days in this stretch to go! She's not doing anything in particular to heal though we have talked a lot about it and it was extremely painful for her to hear that I chose porn over our own intimacy during pregnancy. That being said its already making us closer and the sex we have had since starting this journey has been WAY more intimate and intesnse than it has been since the very beginning of our relationship. Its hard for her to understand that my longest sexual relationship has been with pornography and that that's where I created a lot of my sexual habits. For her there is no appeal to watching pornography while I am a much more visually stimulated person and I really habituated myself to looking at porn for sexual release. Yay for high speed internet. The biggest help for me personally has been not only recognizing concrete triggers, but also realizing that some of my triggers are habitual (like sitting down to my desktop PC, REALLY experienced that today but pulled through it), or a "stress relief" trigger and learning to separate these from sexual intimacy with my partner.
