toxic PMO energy = fighting in the Streets? Dealing with PMO urges after boxing

Hi guys,

Glad I have somewhere to share this. I hope this is the right place to post it, as I think it's what has maybe started me on this path to recovery.

Two weeks ago I was walking down the street after work.

I was wearing a blazer and tie, chinos and enjoying the late afternoon sunshine.

That's when I almost got into a fight on the street.

A guy picked me out (something in the way I looked was a target for this punk, maybe I looked too clean? Too white and professional and successful?) and he tried to harrass me for money, thinking I would just come out of the pockets right there.

I yelled at him so loud that he took a step back. He started arguing and getting worked up, and I told him that he better back the fuck off. The interaction carried on for longer than need and I got really fucking angry. He saw that I would have thrown him through a fucking shop window.

He ripped off his mask and I could see a scar from slash on his face from a blade, but I could see fear in his eyes. He stood as if to start round 1. There were P.C. spectators with cameras on their phones at nearby coffee shops, I assessed the situation and thought of the headlines: "racist white guy in suit and tie beats up black guy on street"

I walked away.

My blood was boiling.

As I walked away he called me every racist name under the sun.

I kept walking.

I was physically shaking with rage and anger when I got home.

The problem is, if you win the fight, in some liberal/PC/whiteguilt cities in the U.S. depending on how it goes down, you will get lynched as the guilty/evil suspect especially depending on the race of the other guy that you beat up. Then you are in the court system and have a record, and waste your time and money and energy.

Sometimes, when you have onlookers, you have to just walk away - even when it really fucking hurts your pride and manhood and makes you more resentful.

Especially when you know what you can do.

So what's my background?

I've been boxing for about 10 years, about five of those I was training full time, and I've had amatuer fights in three different countries. As a boxer, I know that I am not meant to throw hands on the street. When you train at such a high level, you know you are different than 95% of other men and you just don't have to use it, because something in your eyes sends the signal and you also register trouble quicker than other people.

But it's been most of a year, and maybe my powers have started to wane

I didn't pick up on something I should have when I left the office that day.

I didn't realise the signals I was giving off.

I must have looked like a nerd/geek/john/target.

So I need to get back in the gym.

For my mental health and sensory wellbeing.

Has anyone ever had this shit happen to them - when they get picked out after a prolonged time spent indoors or when working academically or professionally so long you forget how to interface with the wider world??

Combat training spikes my Testosterone level leading to PMO urges so how do I deal with it after training?

I have found in the past that after physical training, especially combat training, BJJ, boxing or running hills, weight lifting that my T levels increase dramatically as does my appetite to PMO to relieve the aggression and tension.

Right now I am living and working in a fairly sedantary way, at my desk most of the time, have cut out lot of red meat, fasting, drinking lots of water, and using this time to catch up on unfinished work.

So it's been a year of almost no combat sports (since boxing gyms closed due to covid) and it's starting to concern me, as I was previously training two to three times per week, always watching fight sports etc.

Now I have shifted to not watching ufc, boxing, or browsing on youtube, just to focus on business end of life, to get rid of some of the constant aggression - but honestly my experience is that it's having the opposite effect, especially after that incident - that not doing combat sport has increased my anger levels, and also made me somehow less aware on the streets, and in dealing with people.

It's just that the fight training always triggers something within me which is so primal and linked to these urges of fight/flight/fuck/eat etc. I know that Mike Tyson went nofap for 5 years during his prime, so it really must be controlled. I know it is lore of the boxing world to nofap for 6 weeks+ before a fight, but I was never a proponent of that until now.

As for how this incident changed my life: I feel that because I was PMOing that my energy was not giving off the right signals, maybe that is what signalled this guy. Anyway, I don't know, but it certainly made me think about life.

Thanks for reading. Your thoughts and suggestions are welcome.

4:30am

 

Thanks Slim, I totally agree with always being prepared for shit to go down. And yep, I've had my fair share of tough sparring and amatuer bouts, it does have a price that's for sure.

Question: do you have any specific ways that you avoid PMO after heavy sparring or heavy training, when you feel super aggressive and can't focus on other stuff?

I find this to be my general problem, that after training I just want to PMO or when I'm with my gf, O to relieve the stress/ tension.

 

Hey Garden,

So I was not on Nofap when this happened, and it kind of triggered me to start Nofap in retrospect. I was PMOing plus I was out of training for the last year or so, since COVID started.

In this situation, I see it as definately good - I didn't have fight this random sketchy dude and he just backed off me with a look. He knew that I could rip him to pieces so I got to just walk away as he didn't actually want to fuck with me.

The 1st reason is simple. I live in a liberal city and there's lots of PC folks with cameras on their phones. If I light this guy up on the street in broad daylight and it gets online, it's not going to look good, and secondly - there would no clear lead up story as to why I'd be assailing this guy. The fact that he's the criminal would not be focused on.

2nd reason. You don't want to get into fights with randoms on the streets. He could have a blade. He could have a gun. He could have some blood infection that you get on you, and now you got a blood infection. So you want to avoid these situations with your voice and your non-verbals.

Now, as a guy where did I go wrong?

If he had actually come at me and thrown hands on me, I would have difficulty not knocking him out and hence opening myself up to a situation where it's dangerous, messy and maybe recorded on video...a whole gamut of life problems that I do not need.

That's where PMO comes in and living correctly, these situations reflect to me that theres something wrong...I think about what I was Attracting in life etc. at that time...the wrong stuff, I wasn't on the Path.

Garden, in your situation: at high school you got beaten up with a guy who brought ufc gloves. My honest advice? You 100% need to be in the gym. Learn brazilian jujitsu, boxing, ufc and be a fucking badass and find that punk who cut your eye and lay him out (my suggestion, otherwise you might get resentful and turn on yourself and think you're a coward or inferior or something)

Onwards,

4:30am

 

Getting back into the gym today: BJJ and boxing in the afternoon post work day.

Onnit,

4:30am