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Triggers: Sexually Abused

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by KetchupPreCum, Aug 14, 2017.

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  1. Aug 14, 2017 #1
    KetchupPreCum

    KetchupPreCum New Fapstronaut

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    A little background info about my past and why I'm taking the plunge to become porn free.

    At age 7 my little sister and I were sexually abused by my neighbor. My neighbor was 8 years old and I'm assuming she too was sexually abused at some point in her childhood. One day my new neighbor (We'll call her Sarah) invited me and my sister over to play. Eventually we ended up in Sarah's room where she showed my sister and I pornography from magazines and she told me to touch my sister in sexual ways. I had no idea what I was doing at that age so I thought this was normal and went along with it. I ended up engaging in oral sex with Sarah and my sister and I kissed and such then when we went home the sexual activity I was involved in didn't stop there. My sister and I would practice sexual advances until I was about 11 years old. At that time I had spoken to a close family friend who was much older than I and I Told him my secret) and he explained to me how unatural that sort of activity was-especially at that age and with my sister. It eventually got back to my parents and my sister and I were separated for a short time and eventually on close watch until I was able to understand the reality of the situation. But something I forgot to mention is that on the day that I was abused I haven't gone a single day without watching or viewing pornography so it became apart of my daily life. It held me back all throughout school and in life. But as of yesterday is my first day porn free and I plan on quitting for good. I feel like it's the root of my depression and attention disorder and lately I haven't been able to have sex because I can't stay hard due to porn and my porn habits have gradually become more and more violent because the same stuff just gets old.
    As I said I plan on making the day before yesterday my last day of my porn addicted life..
    My main struggles are solving my Bordem without turning to porn or sleeping without watching porn.
    Any advice would be so meaningful to me. Thanks.
     
    KetchupPreCum, Aug 14, 2017
    KetchupPreCum, Aug 14, 2017
    #1
  2. Aug 14, 2017 #2
    Eviledging

    Eviledging Fapstronaut

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    First don't beat urself up about the sexual activity as a child. A lot of us have had that moment where young kids explore. It happened to me when I was 9 and my sister was 11 at the time. We only masterbate s each other to porn never sex, but it wasn't an attraction thing just curiosity. My sister and I don't even think of it as anything malicious. So I hope u were able to maintain friendship with urs. As for ur addiction to porn how are u doing with ur holding back on touching urself? What are ur triggers??
     
    Eviledging, Aug 14, 2017
    Eviledging, Aug 14, 2017
    #2
  3. Aug 14, 2017 #3
    Burner1

    Burner1 Fapstronaut

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    Here are some recommendations to get you started. IF you do these things and get fully educated, it goes a long way to fighting the urges and building a great streak (the number of days you abstain – the goal is to keep getting longer and longer streaks until you have broken the addiction).
    1. Share your story - how did PMO become your addiction?
    2. Visit www.yourbrainonporn.com to understand the science of the addiction so you can battle it with wisdom.
    3. Watch The Ted talk here:
    4. Set up a porn blocker on your computer and all other devices you COULD use for PMO.
    5. Get yourself an accountability partner on this site, and locally, if you have a close friend you can safely confide in.
    6. Read posts here daily and update your journal daily ( create one) - you'll understand others' experiences and how they may relate to you and be immersed in ongoing communication that we'll be daily assets for you while also helping others.
    7. Set realistic goals and add a counter to help you and everyone see your progress - small steps seem very achievable and build confidence - large ones may make you feel like it is useless. I suggest picking one day past your longest streak to date, or less if the longest "seems" unachievable at present. Setting 6 months or 1 year is way too far away if you are just starting, 7 days a time is a good, achievable timeline, and then start again, 7, 14, 21, 28 and you'll be counting weeks that will be even more motivational. YOU WILL fall, like all of the rest of us. You’ve got to get back up, dust yourself off and start moving forward again. It’s only a failure when you GIVE UP!
    8. Ask questions along the way - we're here to help each other. Nobody will judge you here - we're here to help ourselves and one another!
    Welcome to the team! Let's fight the battle against PMO and make some progress together!
     
    Burner1, Aug 14, 2017
    Burner1, Aug 14, 2017
    #3
    Halcyon88 and HappyDaysAreHereAgain like this.

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