Trying to gain back my SOs trust

Day 941.

Feeling: Accomplished, tired and (fairly) cheerful.

Work is going pretty well today so far, moderately busy, but I've managed to get some other work sorted alongside, so I feel accomplished so far. Hopefully it continues. Fingers crossed I will get the results I want in the test that I've performed earlier.

Tiredness is natural at the moment, but Tan is even more so than me, as the past couple of nights the little one has not been great, but he is still new to the world, so what did we expect. We are 3 kids down now, so you'd have thought experience would count for something.

The weekend went really well. We had a good day on Saturday and I got a decent rain coat which I really needed, and got some other bits and bobs for the baby. We also tested out the charging points out and about and managed to get everywhere pretty easily, even with only 100 miles of range.

We also visited a friend and their new little one which was good. They are a few weeks behind us, and the size difference was quite big. We still see him as a new born, but his features have developed so much already.

 

Day 942.

Today I'm feeling lethargic and tired, though I didn't feel too bad first thing. I was pretty organised getting ready this morning, but as the day has gone on, my ambition has kind of waned despite a mounting to do list. Hopefully this afternoon will still be productive.

Things are going okay at home, though Tans grandma has had a second fall only a week after she got out of hospital after the fismrst fall led to her breaking her femur. Fingers crossed she is okay, we are though, a bit worried for her recovery after this one.

Otherwise things are just plodding on okay. Getting by day to day and hoping for an end to this bloody Pandemic...

 

Day 943.

The other night was a hard one with the baby. He spent a few hours awake in the middle of the night and Tan ended up in tears. We eventually got him to sleep, only an hour before the alarm clock went off. Last night 8 decided to give Tan a break, and took the feeding duty, and he was fortunately not too bad. Not everything is is always rosy with a newborn... (though generally I think he's probably easier than the girls were at his age, but nothing feels good being woken at that time in the morning...)

I have felt a day ahead of myself all week, so today doesn't feel like a Friday, I am glad of it though, but I've got a busy afternoon, with a meeting in the middle...

 

Day 947.

This weekend has been okay, but the girls have been playing up a bit recently which has made things a bit difficult, and I get moody and sullen when I'm too tired, which probably didn't make things much better, leading to a bit of frustration at times. Yesterday was much better fortunately and I wasn't quite as tired, though the girls still had their moments. I feel a bit bad that we sometimes look forward to the kids bedtime for a bit of a break.

Today has been a pretty rubbish one at work so far, having to deal with a couple of spillages of stains used in the lab, which has occupied most of my morning, meaning I'll likely have a busier afternoon than I would normally have had on a Monday. Never mind, it'll soon be the weekend...

 

Day 948.

Today is going much better than yesterday (meaning I haven't spilled loads of stains, and spent the morning cleaning them all up) so I'm in a better mood so far. Fingers crossed this afternoon goes better.

I am, however, tired. Last night, the littlest one spent a good old time awake after his feed. We tried all the usual things to get him to sleep, but to only short lived avail. He did eventually settle off, and just over half an hour before the alarm went off, our eldest woke up and started shouting for us because she had a blocked nose. Foolishly, I went back to sleep after that and naturally felt much worse afterwards. Things aren't too bad now though, so hopefully I won't start to flag too much this afternoon.

 

Day 950.

Today has been busy so far, hopefully this afternoon will go a bit less busy. Its unlikely though.

Last night I hit a wall when trying to settle the little one down. Tan took him off me to help settle him and I couldn't keep my eyes open (sorry Tan, think she was possibly annoyed at that...) and he slept quite badly all night as he has developed a snuffly nose again.

We are both looking forward to the weekend as we will be going out for a meal child free to celebrate the anniversary of Tan and I becoming "official". 13 years together!

 

Day 951.

Not too busy today, meaning I'm managing to get other important stuff done, though the trust are putting on extra weekend clinics meaning more work on Monday, so I'm looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend with Tan and the little one while the girls are on a trip with their Grandparents.

I decided to do the late night feed last night, and to (I imagine...) Tans irritation, he slept really well, and settled back off to sleep without much problem. So not feeling too bad today.

We will have a load to do when I get in though, as the girls are getting picked up at about 8am, so need to be organised, and it'll be an early morning for the girls. Though I suspect we might not have had too late a morning anyway..

 

Day 954.

This weekend has been nice. Tan and I enjoyed a meal out alone for the first time in a while in celebration of our "dating" Anniversary (though its not actually until the 31st). It was nice to go out for a meal with no stress and tantrums from the girls. Don't get me wrong, we love them to bits, but it's nice to have a break now and then.

Yesterday the little one was quite unsettled, and fed strangely, but it wasn't too bad a day, though ended up quite tiring. We had a bit to drink as well, and Tan woke this morning with the mother of hangover headaches (not something either of us have suffered for a while, we rarely drink more than a glass of wine or bottle of beer).

Work is going well today, and I look forward to an unusually peaceful evening when I get in from work, as the girls are still enjoying a caravan trip with their grandparents. We do miss them, but it will be good to get in and relax, instead of getting in and running around like a crazy person for two hours before they go to bed!

 

Day 957.

The past couple of days have been interesting. On Tuesday I had to head home early as our eldest had developed symptoms of COVID meaning, until her test results came back, our household had to self isolate. Which meant that yesterday I had to work from home. It didn't go as bad as I expected to be honest, but working with two kids running around is somewhat distracting. I did get some work done though fortunately.

I am however back at work today as her results thankfully came back yesterday as negative. Its a good job I'm back as well as I've got too much to do to be off (which is a bit depressing to say...)

 

Day 958.

Today is a tired day, though not too bad. Last night our eldest was up vomiting in the night, and our youngest wasn't particularly settled before the alarm. Work isnt so bad though, and I've got lots done.

I am happy for the weekend to have arrived though, not that I expect we will be doing a lot. I hope we can go for a walk with the kids conker picking and checking out all the fallen leaves, but otherwise keeping to ourselves I guess. I also secretly long for a relaxing couple of days...

 

Day 961.

This weekend has gone okay, the girls didn't fight too much, though probably because our eldest was vomiting all day on Saturday. Fortunately she was much better through yesterday and has gone back to school today.

After the announcement of a new lockdown here in the UK, shopping was particularly dreadful yesterday. Im not a fan of grocery shopping at the best of times, but yesterday was horrible. Very busy considering the supermarkets aren't even closing. Never the less, I made it through, and Tan made an amazing Sunday lunch, complete with roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings, which went a long way to make things better.

We have noticed that we are starting to feel a bit fatigued from the middle of the night feeds, but so far we are facing up okay, and haven't noticed an increase of irritability with each other. Things are actually going quite well at the moment, though lockdown starts again on Thursday, so hopefully that doesn't affect our moods.

 

Day 962.

Today is going quite well so far. A bit tired, as ever, but not bad at work. I've helped with a bit of furniture moving for training I'm having on Thursday, but not too busy otherwise.

We are going for food tonight, before the lockdown comes into force on Thursday, as we had planned on eating out for Tans birthday in a couple of weeks time, but have obviously had to bring the plans forward. We are going for Chinese, and I'm quite looking forward to it. Though we hope its not too late a night as we will still have the little one to see to in the night.

 

Day 963.

Last night was great. Tan and I enjoyed a date night out for a Chinese in celebration of Tans birthday (a little early, due to the imminent lockdown). We ate too much, and were up too late, but we enjoyed a good, entertaining night out.

Unfortunately neither of us had a great night sleep, though Tan came off worst, and the girls this morning did nothing to help with the our tiredness, with shouting crying and with our youngest girl wetting herself, made it an even more stressful morning.

Another stressful topic is of course the election. I know, we are English and obviously have no say, and I don't want to talk about politics here as it is so divisive, especially at the moment, but I have become quite invested in it, and the outcomes are far reaching, which added to the feeling of stress.

Work has kept me well distracted though, as its been fairly busy this morning with plenty of stuff to get on with, hopefully it won't be too bad this afternoon though.

 

Day 964.

Last night wasn't too bad, we didn't do an awful lot other than bath the kids (although they could see fireworks outside the window, so it was a struggle to get them to bed...).

The little one has had his vaccinations today which means we will probably all end up with a terrible night's sleep. I'll be up to feed him in the night so I hope that he's not too bad. Fingers crossed.

Today is going well at work. I've got a training session (the first of many) later, which will be done via video link, hopefully just as good as in person, and I think it will start to open up doors for me at work, with a lot of future developments possible afterwards.

 

Day 968.

This weekend has been good, though we haven't done a lot. We spent Saturday doing not a lot at all, though we made up for it yesterday and ended up having an unexpected and unwelcome late night as we changed the water in one of our fish tanks which ended up a bigger task than we anticipated. We also sorted through loads of Christmas presents that we have bought (and kind of showed the ridiculous amount of packaging that's used...)

This morning I listened to a Porn Free Radio podcast driving in, and it was discussing "Inspired Masculinity" where we are looking for a role model that will show us how to be better, and it got me thinking about being a parent myself and how I want to teach my kids about these things.

I know that it's not something that you want to talk to your kids about really, but it's something I think I'd rather talk to them about first (as awkward and uncomfortable as it will be) than for them to find out about it themselves or from someone else. Kind of let them learn from my mistakes. I'm glad that they are still pretty young as that conversation is still a while away, but I know that it'll come around faster than I'd like.

 

That's awesome, but scares me that it's only a couple of years away for our eldest daughter! How did the conversation go, I guess at that age they aren't as averse to talking about things like that as they are when they're a bit older. I heard of someone deciding to start the conversation on a long car drive so there was no escape from it!

Yeah I totally agree with this, I didn't have a mobile at all until I was about 14 and you could do barely anything on it (the most I could do was play snake...) so the thought of our kids growing up with these things from much younger, with much greater capabilities, is terrifying.

I think my instinct is to just restrict the technology they are exposed to, but I know that that's not the way that will work long term. I guess that keeping an open and non-judgemental communication going is the key, and to teach them the tools to deal with these situations, but where to start?