I consider PMO far less damaging, but still when I am aggravated beyond a certain threshold, usually, fresh out of a relapse, and having a really shitty first, second or whatever day. I turn to finding a prostitute (doesn't matter if it's transgender, transvestite or female), all I want is an O. But recently this has become my new hell, I feel afraid of myself. This has happened twice. This post is more of a confession and a vent instead of any help-seeking. I know this mustn't go on, I've already told myself that this was the last time (tonight). To me, it is an abhorrent sin, one that hurts me and a complete stranger. It is worse than cybering, and any other PMO variant, simply because it is the transference of my addiction into a much more real mould. And that is the beginning of my end to me. I guess I just want to know if someone else has had to suffer through the same. If anyone successfully defeated their demons in this regard.