very WIERD reboot (almost 90 days)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by itay, Jul 21, 2015.

  1. itay

    itay Fapstronaut

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    hi there guys, i think this post will help us all learn somethings.
    didnt post here for few weeks, which was very intresting and full of things i'd like to discuss and ask; so i'll start:

    until about day 64 i did hardmode.

    my ED was DRAMATICALLY improved but still there is alot to do further.
    i started to have little spontanoes erections sometimes.

    then girl gave me bj and i o'ed 2 times
    few days after that i fucked another girl and first time of my life came from sex (only 2 weeks before i was able to penetrate for the first time of my life also)
    and then i fucked the first one..
    in total i o'ed something like 7 times in a week all from bj or sex..no hands involved.

    it was very fun but also my drive decreased dramatically but i didnt felt bad..just wierd.
    i thought to my self that if i had a girlfriend..after a week i just wouldnt want to fuck her for 2 weeks atleast?
    it shoudn't be like this..so i guess my libido is still suffering; also my spotanoues erections stoped. /:


    now at day 80 i mo'ed to O without any porn or fantazy or deathgrip or fast speed..only mo'ed and it wasn't out of horniness (and i never felt a need to masturbate..ever; i'd only got horny from porn and then masturbated in the past) and neither this time.
    i only wanted to check something about my sexuality that i read about sex and was embarresed to try infront of a girl..kind of practice..didnt felt bad about it at all so i didn't count that as relapse.
    today day 82, i practiced this again and mo'ed in the same fashion to O..i satisfied my curiosity and finished the needed practice.

    i ofcourse feel the toll of this 2 O's phisically and a little mentally..but still dont feel bad about it and i know it came from very concious place in me and not from the addiction.
    and so i don't know how to regard this incidents, either the girls and those 2 mo's.
     
  2. 8BitsOfStuggling

    8BitsOfStuggling Fapstronaut

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    Be careful with your thoughts and exploring your sexuality in that manner. Your penis works, it will continue to work. You are 60+ years old. It will continue to work. Using that as an excuse to MO is just that, an excuse, justification. I don't know what to say about the rest of it, but I would be careful as you appear (at least in my opinion) as dancing on the line of breaking your rule, how you define it is up to you. Good luck and keep it up, it will never be easy, but it will get easier.
     
  3. itay

    itay Fapstronaut

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    To be honest i never liked MO without the porn so i dont think its an excuse..especially after 80 days..but i will heed your warning; tnx :)
     

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