hi there guys, i think this post will help us all learn somethings. didnt post here for few weeks, which was very intresting and full of things i'd like to discuss and ask; so i'll start: until about day 64 i did hardmode. my ED was DRAMATICALLY improved but still there is alot to do further. i started to have little spontanoes erections sometimes. then girl gave me bj and i o'ed 2 times few days after that i fucked another girl and first time of my life came from sex (only 2 weeks before i was able to penetrate for the first time of my life also) and then i fucked the first one.. in total i o'ed something like 7 times in a week all from bj or sex..no hands involved. it was very fun but also my drive decreased dramatically but i didnt felt bad..just wierd. i thought to my self that if i had a girlfriend..after a week i just wouldnt want to fuck her for 2 weeks atleast? it shoudn't be like this..so i guess my libido is still suffering; also my spotanoues erections stoped. /: now at day 80 i mo'ed to O without any porn or fantazy or deathgrip or fast speed..only mo'ed and it wasn't out of horniness (and i never felt a need to masturbate..ever; i'd only got horny from porn and then masturbated in the past) and neither this time. i only wanted to check something about my sexuality that i read about sex and was embarresed to try infront of a girl..kind of practice..didnt felt bad about it at all so i didn't count that as relapse. today day 82, i practiced this again and mo'ed in the same fashion to O..i satisfied my curiosity and finished the needed practice. i ofcourse feel the toll of this 2 O's phisically and a little mentally..but still dont feel bad about it and i know it came from very concious place in me and not from the addiction. and so i don't know how to regard this incidents, either the girls and those 2 mo's.