What do YOU think is the best way to overcome an urge to PMO in the moment?

My husband gets out of the house and into public, where he cannot fap.

 

Make contact with someone. Go visit a friend, a family member, pick up the phone and place a call, meet up and have a drink and a chat, that kind of thing. It's important to stay grounded with people.

 

I dunno yet.... Just starting this out. When i've been getting fidgety, i play the guitar... yesterday, I took the dog out as i was needing a major distraction... it was pissing it down with rain here, but neither of us minded... she got her walk and i got to cool off and get out the house while i needed to be out the hous...


I'll be interested to hear what others have to say. I stil haven't really sussed out what to do yet.

 

Cold shower

Go for a run, then cold shower

 

I just know, it's like trying to sleep, the harder you try, less likely it is you will fall asleep.
so I just sit in my chair and relax, force my self to relax. it works 9 times out of ten for me. and even after a number of days of no m, I start changing physically, it's as if something is wrong, but I keep thinking that, something is actually right, even if it feels wrong. that is key, I realize I am doing the right thing no matter how I feel, spinning head ect..racing mind, extra pressure, it does not feel right, I just bare with it. I try to get along with the new feelings rather then avoid them, through the same old habit.

 

I find that reading about NoFap helps me with staying Porn free.
You know understanding how I got addicted to it, why and how the brain gets addicted to it etc........

I guess the secret is to avoid the triggers and find something else to occupy our minds.

 

Ha,
that's basically the holy grail of nofap.
I've opened a similar thread (Deal with urges) but it didn't get that much of traction.

Now, after starting the nofap journey 300 days ago, this July is actually my best month with only 1 relapse.
From my point of view, regular meditation & mindfulness is the key and absolute basis.
Actively not thinking about PMO doesn't work, so I try to "distract" myself, focus on something productive or meditate until the urges disappear. That works ok most of the time.

The white-knuckle / fighting the urges approach works in short term, but it depletes energy, so this option is only temporary.

The emergency button did work somehow at the beginning,
but now my cravings/urges "shifted" their type.
They are now more like curiosity, "ok, I'm fine, just a short peek wont do any harm ... & relapse again ..." and I often forget about the emergency button.
But its a great idea in general especially at the beginning to find new motivation

Like I said in my thread I'd be glad and grateful, if someone posted some sort of the ultimate method (idiot-proof, step-by-step ).
Something, that can handle an urge to PMO in-the-moment, would save a lot of time and hassle.
(It would be ok, if this method can't be used that often. It should only handle all of the last 20% of the cases, which couldn't be prevented with lifestyle modifications.)

Btw, maybe we are here in a paradox-of-choice situation: There are "all of the 100s of methods", but we need to find them in the 100s of threads. (Sure, the intro material here contains the best ones for starting.)
But I'd be great if this thread becomes a collection, with short descriptions and links/references.

 

The holy grail is for each one of us to find what works for us.
Reading people's stories and experiences helps me because I get inspired.

 

I live in the country / suburbia, I've gone out running in the middle of the night for other reasons (when I could not sleep) and I could take cold showers or.... shoveling show in the winter.

I hear you, from what I've read a lot of triggers are situational, in my case when I am bored and lonely; pathetic, I know, but I am determined to get rid of my friend Porn from my life, so writing this shit down helps.

We all need to find what works for us, and for me understanding the issue is one way to figure out what works for me; that's why I read a lot about NoFap and addictions in general.

 

Slapping myself in the balls usually does the trick, extreme I know, but VERY effective.

 

LOL. Sorry you made me laugh.
But good point... how about ice pack on balls....... and shaft too, extreme shrinkage!

 

That is the best immediate remedy. I did it many many times.

 

Hey, whatever works for you. That's a little too masochistic for me personally as a sack slap is quick and distracting with no lasting damage. There are some serious over-achievers on here with a potential emergency room visit in their future by using that advice. FYI boys, no girl is attracted to frost-bitten dick. Lol

 

Went to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner, and I played PokemonGO on my way there.

It worked as long as I was out and about, now that I am back home, I am still thinking.....

 

I usually do the thing that requires the least brainpower: I just lie on my bed or sofa until I realize that I am not fantasizing anymore. Then back to what I was doing before.

 

What's wrong with fantasizing?
I fantasize all the time! Not P-fantasies but... you know, past experiences, possible future experiences..... a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!

 

I find structuring my days helps. So the worst times for me historically are when my wife is at work all day and I'm either off or working late. I have gone through numerous relapses , and after I relapse I try to focus really hard in not failing again. I look at what caused me to relapse and most of the time its because I was alone and bored.

So now when my wife is going to be out all day or we are working opposite shifts I make sure y day is structured. For example getting up early, taking the dog for a walk and starting whatever diy project I happen to have going on at the time. As long as I dont let myself get bored or have no task at hand then 90% of the time the day passes without any stress of PMO on my mind.

This is me at the start of a post relapse phase, I find reading what everyone else experiences one of the best aids in trying to deal with this.