I. Porn is not just the usual porn videos, it's magazines, pictures, music videos, thoughts, dating apps, writing, anything that causes sexual excitement. Once you quit porn, even before you fully recover you'll be able to feel what causes this sexual excitement. If it's not from your partner it's bad for you. Make a better plan than quitting porn videos, failing and repeating. You need to: - stop watching soft, vanilla or any kind of porn video; - stop looking at nudes or sexy images; - stop using social media and this isn't just for addiction recovery benefits, trust me you get nothing good from it; - stop nude sharing, yes even if it's with your significant other; - stop browsing tinder or any dating app. Make an account if you want to but looking for potential sexual partners is like watching porn, especially since many profiles include sexy photos and sexual references; - stop reading newspapers with sexy images in them; - stop watching tv. Let's face is, there's always some sexual content and you're trading living real life for being a zombie in front of a screen; - stop watching cam girls; - stop sexting; - stop reading erotic material; - stop thinking about sex. This can be easy or impossible depending or whether you have something to do that you enjoy or I guess, that you really have to do but the later might still require a lot of willpower. Put simply, a lot of people just say to get a hobby but leave out the reasons for it. If you don't have something more enjoyable to do than thinking about sex, you'll probably just daydream about it regardless of what you want; - stop watching music videos. Even when there's nothing sexy in them, rarely, they still contain too many things in them which makes the brain create too much dopamine. *1 II. *1 I have noticed that consuming media is directly related to my porn addiction. When I would replace porn viewing with other media I couldn't quit porn, when I would quit all media I would go to some form of porn even if before that I had no desire for porn. It seems that it's the addiction itself that's the issue, the brain having gotten used to a certain amount of artificial unnatural stimulation and not the sexual part of the addiction. This also makes me wonder about wether we got things wrong about what porn is and what porn addiction is. According to the Cambridge English Dictionary "pictures, books, television programmes , newspaper articles, etc. that are intended to be exciting for people interested in a particular subject or particular product. Half the shows on TV are either food porn or property porn." This goes with my findings that artificial things that exceed the amount of dopamine the brain could possibly create from the real world are bad and addictive. That porn isn't just what's towards sexual content but anything unrealistic or depicted in such a manner. III. Addiction is an inability to stop doing something that you don't want to do. Obviously I don't mean things that you need to do like eating, working, etc, although those can become addictions as well. Other than doing things out of your control, wasting time, maybe money, being away from people you like or activities you enjoy, it also changes you. You might think you are ok but exposing yourself to artificial things that make the brain create more dopamine that real life means your brain will no longer want to do things in real life. And it can get bad. You might no longer be able to clean your room, shower, cook, work out, study, go to school/work on time or at all, spend time with people, have any hobbies. You can become a creep even if you are inside a very kind, smart person. When you are an addict you no longer have control over your mind, you no longer are your mind. It's like a split personality and only after you get your fix, such as after an orgasm do you realise what you've been doing. The brain will make you think and feel whatever it perceives as your weakness in order to make you get a fix. You can find on the forum various reactions to trying to quit: guilt, shame, blue balls, insomnia, pain, loneliness, horniness, doubt in yourself or whether this is necessary, etc. Don't let your brain trick you, it's all psychosomatic. You are fine. I know, easy to say but the info needs to be available. I am well aware this forum isn't filled with scientists and it might be the worst place to ask such a question, among struggling addicts in recovery but can we please keep this civil? I've been an addict for about 25 years, struggling to recover for many years, did some progress but could still use some info. This post is as much for helping others as it is for myself.
