Which days were the hardest for you?

For me the first few days after relapse are hardest. Because I may cheat myself that "Oh I have just relapsed , why not relapse again and restart later.".

Once you overcome the first few days, things become easier. But do not think you win the game, you still need to work hard to finally beat PMO.

When urges come I may think of my parents, girl I love, and my bad days involved with PMO. Also I may go out for sports, reading books or do anything that can keep me from porn.

 

The first month is always the hardest. Push past that and you're home free if you can sustain motivation to keep going and don't forget why you started. The early days of feeling like you've beat it can be dangerous as well; not because it's actually hard to stop from PMO, but because complacency can set in and drag you back down.

 

9 days are like hell.

 

The ones that end in "y" are pretty tough. Otherwise this shit is pretty easy.

 

I got this insane urge on day 47 and was about to edge. Other than that though, it hasn't been terribly difficult

 

The first two weeks and then maybe week five.

 

For me my old streak is just 12 days but these 12 days are best now i m again on 7 days full 1 week after i relapse those days are insane harder you say to your mind oh no i can't do this, in streak days like 9_12 days this 4 days are also harder

 

My experiences will be different from others' here, but my toughest days were actually during flatlines. Urges on tougher days are 5 minutes of hell for me every 3-4 hours, and possibly 30+ minutes of hell during the wost days. Flatlines, however, are hell for hours or even days on end; they drain me of energy and overall makes me more anxious and depressed, which tempts me more into relapsing.

I've had 2 streaks that went ~45 days before this current one. Both times I relapsed during a flatline. Flatlines do either two things to me. One possibility: they make me focus on the ol' chap to make sure it's alive and functioning. I give it a stroke or two, which turn into ten, which turn into a relapse... Or another possibility: they make me overconfident that I have conquered MO, and then it suddenly ends and a huge, uncontrollable urge overcomes me as my guard's down.

But over time, urges become easier to control, and for me, flatlines are beginning to affect me less. This past flatline period I only felt the aforementioned symptoms for a day.

 

Day 13 is ALWAYS the hardest for me. This day is always hell. Its like the urges go super saiyan or something. The last 2 or 3 times I relapsed were all on day 13. Im on day 7 at the moment so when 13 comes I plan on keeping myself as busy as possible.

 

So far day 6

 

My best is 240 days. I'm on day 7 right now. The urges are pretty bad right now and they might get worse. I think the early stages are always the worst. The first few weeks. After that initial withdrawal it's smooth sailing in my experience. However you have to be vigilant at all times as a relapse can occur at any time especially when exposed to sexual stimuli. It comes and goes but there long periods where Im not even thinking about sex at all (seems crazy I know lol)

 

For me it's almost completely random. It just depends on what triggers I see and how I've practiced responding to them.

The reason I said "almost" is because there's a (very rough) half-life pattern that I've seen. For whatever reason, if I go a long time without failing—for example, 18 days (which is long for me, bad I know), then the next time I fail is in 9 days, then 5, then 2 or 3. Eventually I make a huge re-commitment, but sometimes I just give up and spend 2-3 days just masturbating the whole day and watching porn. Fortunately the last time I did that was in May—because all of my roommates had moved out for the summer and I had nothing to do. It was very easy, but it was awful.

This semester it's been slightly better, with relapses every 7-14 days. But I am determined to stop this once and for all because PM for me has zero redeeming qualities.

Good luck man! And wow 29 days so far! Keep it up!!!

 

Day 5 I feel like dog shit

 

I had real problems when I became open to enervation, it means I was not putting effort in doing what I should do, precisely when I am being carried out by laziness. If you are a beginner, it will start to become a problem in a little less than 1 week, but you need to keep this in your mind: not putting effort in what is important will lead you to PMO. I can say this for sure.

"... as soon as you feel it [your body] even a little disposed to play the master, treat it as once as a slave."
Cardinal Desiré-Joseph Mercier, Practice of Christian Mortification.

I have a tip I don't know you will be open to, but you need to waive from EVERYTHING that will lead you to triggers or, what would call S. Pius X, "occasions of sin". I mean... anything! I know it is hard to accept, but I see this as the easiest way. And of course, learn about cardinal virtues (prudency, justice, fortitudiness and temperance) is a good idea, than you can guide yourself for the truth, the good and the beauty, because if you only abstain from habits that will lead you to the evil, what you should do next? That's why I say this again: learn about virtues. I recommend you this.

Good luck with your recover brother.


Edit: dude, I just saw this is a 3years old post.

 

Hey man, glad you're here! In my experience, I have to take things one day at a time. Day 14 tends to be a hard day for me, but typically its the days where I'm stressed or not taking care of myself that are the hardest to get through. As an addict, I tended to use pornography to escape negative emotions, so days where I'm not processing my emotions are difficult. There will be hard days, but its a lot less overwhelming if you stay focused and try to make it through the day. After a relapse is probably the hardest point for me to deal with because its very easy for me to give up and keep acting out, and the shame of relapsing drives me to relapse again as well

 

First few days are awful. If I see a triggering image in that time (usually through peeking) I get really intense urges that come and go for usually a few hours. Also found that the start of week 2 is tough as the last relapse becomes less fresh in your mind but haven't got past day 9 yet.