Why do I get so emotional after a week on NoFap?

You say you distanced yourself, but the opposite is happening right now, you're going toward, I would focus on the making up of lost time and self support, remembering a simpler time is a gem to be kept safe, some don't even have that, appreciate that for what it is.

 

What I mean is that it hurts how much I've distanced myself from my pure 3 year old self. I cry about what kind of a Bojack horseman or Charlie Harper I've become compared to a 3 year old child whose whole world is love and teletubbies

It makes me realize that, if there's a heaven, then it must be just like teletubby land. It makes me realize that if there's a God, and Adam and Eve are somewhat true, that we were supposed to be like the teletubbies, but instead choose the evil and felt into sin

Of course if someone isn't Christian they can take this metaphorically, but I'm just describing my feelings, because if I give up PMO, I come to know what it truly means to be human, and what true love is.

And understanding these facts just leaves me mentally crushed. I know that it's not too late to change, but even that fact, the realization that it's not too late is painful because I get so grateful for the chance of still living and still improving myself

Let's just say that when I stop PMOing, I'm starting to understand Michael Jackson and why he built Neverland. I had a good childhood though. Jackson said that if he looks into the eyes of children he sees the face of God, and I understand him, because children are pure and without sin and evil. If they'd die, they'd go straight to heaven, and not to purgatory or hell, just because they are literally too stupid to act evil knowingly

 

Yeah I get you, right now we are more like sesame street after the budget cuts and layoffs lol

 

But for me, true happiness means being a child again. Watching the teletubbies, playing video games, eating sweets and chicken nuggets. Cuddling with my parents, playing with them together.

I'm a 24 year old guy. I can't afford that

 

Yeah... chicken nuggies are pretty pricey nowadays. you are talking about nostalgia or the feeling of childhood of it being so simple and lighthearted.

 

Not only

NoFap just makes me realize that the teletubbies are what we're supposed to be. They are cute and pure, and love each other very much. And it hurts me that we humans cannot get along with each other just like the teletubbies. We've been given a good example on how to behave and how to be like from early childhood, but we failed, we failed to carry on the message of true love and instead choose evil.

This is hurting me, this very realization. If I watch the (old!!!) teletubbies episodes, and see the sequences with the teletubby dome, afternoon sun and that melody playing, i feel so much at peace and at home, like "this is what life and love is all about"

It's not only nostalgia, it's in 95% this!

 

I was crying for 3 days and watched the teletubbies all the time.

The price is too high

 

Any idea on how to become stronger?

 

We moved to another country but as I said, I had a good childhood. Also, I remember misbehaving and doing shit as a 5 year old so I must've lost the "pureness" between age 3 and 5 somewhere

It's worth noting that we moved back to our home country again some years ago, and I started to have this crying and teletubbies episodes just when we moved back.

A big factor contributing to that was that when we were moving, I told dad to throw away my very old teletubbies toys. I regretted it and cried like a baby, even with an anger tantrum. I regretted it, because I've felt that I've thrown my childhood away.

I am convinced that there was 100% mold inside of it (they've been in the basement for 10+ years). But I'll never be sure...

 

Because it won't be the same

 

But it must be the same to fully heal