Why is it so hard to get a girlfriend?

Well, no... I don't have the option of casual sex, because I am committed to following Christ, and he is against that sort of thing.

I don't deny that in general it might be easier for women to get casual sex than men, however, attractiveness is also obviously a huge factor. I doubt you believe that an obese woman with acne and a hunchback is going to have an easier time finding a casual sex partner than someone who looks like George Clooney.

Do you think women don't have fetishes too?

I guess I agree that that kind of thing might, in many cases, be easier for a woman. But the fact that this is framed as some kind of great benefit to women is extremely weird.

I can guarantee you that the vast, vast majority of women are tired of being sexualized all the time. The fact that a woman has tons of men offering to pay her for sex on the regular is not a positive thing by any means. It's actually rather objectifying and gross.

 

Fair enough, but I just disagree. The fact that women have tons of guys approaching them or wanting to be with them doesn't mean they have it easier. You're assuming the grass is greener on the other side, but you don't understand the struggles women go through as well.

So I'm simply saying that instead of complaining about how it would be easier to be a woman, just deal with the problems you have and don't assume that other people's struggles aren't as big of a deal as yours.

That's all I have to say about that, I don't want to derail your thread. But I do actually think that mindset shift will be helpful for you in many areas of life, including finding a relationship.

 

Yes, that's correct. I actually ended up sort of seeing someone else for a short time, because quite frankly I didn't want to just wait around hoping he would change his mind about me, and I felt I deserved to be with someone who really wanted to be with me.

But that didn't work out, partially because my feelings for the man I ended up marrying were so much stronger, so o decided that it wasn't right of me to be with someone else if I felt for a different person more than what I felt for them, if that make sense.

You might wonder what changed, and really all I can say is friendship and God. Both myself and my husband were seeking God and doing our best to follow him, and we were good friends for several months. He knew I was interested in him, but he was still holding onto unrequited feelings for someone else. One night, he prayed his usual prayers, talking to God about that other girl and whether or not he should keep pursuing her. Then he asked God if I was someone he should pursue, and he says that in that moment, he was filled with love for me and knew that I was the one he should be pursuing.

He asked me out after that, we were engaged a few months later, married a few months after that, and have been married for almost 9 years now.

I will also say, you never know what God might have in store for you. My husband was single and very depressed about not finding a wife for pretty much a decade. But the thing is, he's about 7 years older than me, so if he had met me a decade earlier than he did, I would have been far too young for him. So maybe that's why he needed to wait so long.

 

I'm not really sure I even agree with the belief that women, in general, have an easier time getting sexual intimacy than men, in general. But regardless, our worldviews are just not going to mesh with this subject, because I don't see any of this as a benefit. I think being, for lack of a better term, "starved of sexual intimacy" is a much better fate than having sex outside of marriage and gaining a boost of some kind of fleeting intimacy.

But I'm going to leave it at that, because I think this is going in a pretty off-topic direction. As much as I enjoy the debate.

 

I didn't mean to imply that you aren't dealing with your problems, or that this is even a problem that is entirely within your control. If that's how you took my comment, I apologize, because that wasn't what I meant. My focus was on dropping the assumptions about the other side having things better, because that will only lead to bitterness and in many cases misogyny (I've seen it happen so often), which will only make finding a partner even more difficult.

 

No, i dont want them either. I just want to point, that all dudes want the young, sexy and childless women

Because all men want young, fresh and childless women. Alle men in there 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s want women in the 20s. There are millions of dudes for some thousands of young, fresh and childless women. The competition is really hard. I see a lot of men complaining they cant find a girlfriend, not realising they are to picky.
Don't compare men and females at young ages. It is complete different stories.
A female in young age has their golden times. They can be passive and will be approached by many guys.
The game is changing at the 30s/40s. Believe me. I am 35 and i recognize the females at my ages are getting desperate, because no one cares about them.
They suddenly start to be the active part and to approach and flirt. I have 3 women 40+ in my work and my neighborhood, who try to get in contact with me desperatly. And you know what? Im refuse to date them, because they are fat or have children. In parallel i am also desperate and complaining that i can't find a women, while there are some available.
You golden time will between 30 - 60.
If you want women at your younger ages, not fat and no children pls consider this:

 

Kind of odd that you would send me a personal message and say you want to hear my opinion on this, but then say this to me here... doesn't really sound like you want my opinion. Which is rather silly, since only one of us has any experience being a female in this world, and it's not you.

 

Well yeah, obviously this guy perceives things that way... it's not entirely true though, which is all I was arguing. I was never arguing about what he perceives to be true.

 

That's incredibly foolish advice, but carry on in your echo chamber, I guess. Good luck with that.

 

Look, I was responding to a comment and was somewhat backed into a corner with the argument that person was bringing up about perception. Of course I don't know everything about how you perceive things, and I wasn't claiming to.

But whatever. I guess I will just leave you to it, since apparently it's bad to actually listen to a woman about how to connect with women. Idk why I bothered to give any advice in the first place. Good luck with your endeavors.

 

In the same way men will never know what it’s like to be a woman trying to date a man. If literally the only thing a woman cares about it getting laid, then I’d say they probably do have an easier time. However, if she wants something meaningful, it can be very difficult. Many men ( not all) will lie, manipulate, and do whatever it takes to get what they want from said women. As a female, we can’t just meet up with a stranger to get to know them. It really can be very dangerous. We are more likely to be beaten and killed by our intimate partner than a stranger, but it does still happen.

 

I think some are operating on a false notion that easier = better or favorable.

Imagine being able to get a date easily and without much work. What have you accomplished? Nothing, yet.

 

I’d argue it’s just physical release and not intimacy then. That will leave you just as empty. Otherwise men can easily pay for an escort whereas this is more difficult for women. Right?