Why the HELL am I addicted to gay porn?!

Hi Eric'sBlue,

To me this sounds like Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). The way to cure that is to quit porn and masturbation cold turkey and afterwards rewire your brain to real women. HOCD has become a more and more common symptom of compulsive porn use. The fact that you've been addicted to it ever since you started with pornograpghy could be coincidental. It is conceivable to think that it was the first type of porn you were exposed to and therefore your brain has wired itself to the point where gay porn = reward. Nothing else spikes your dopamine like your childhood fantasies - regardless of how molded and twisted porn has made them.

With regards to the actual process I would recommend 90days hardmode and then another 60-90days where you rewire with a real human being (girl/woman in this case). If you aren't a homosexual there's a good chance this will do wonders for your recovery (And there's a good chance you aren't considering only the pornography-related gay material turns you on). Just remember that escalating into something like gay porn (like any other porn) is about dopamine, shock, surprise, anticipation rather than the actual act. Your primitive brain doesn't realize that it is looking at porn - It only realizes that you're looking at something that spikes up your neurochemicals and therefore rewards you.

The medical world has not yet accepted porn addiction/HOCD/Porn induced ED to be real so you must ignore old school doctors and their advice as they simply cannot keep up with today's High Speed Internet Porn.

I hope this helps, take care!

 

Read this! It is exactly about your question.

I'm straight, but attracted to transexual or gay porn (or gay attracted to straight porn). What's up?
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ask-us-iam-attracted-to-gay-transsexual

 

Listen to me. Based on what you've said, I think that you are denying the notion that you possibly could be gay because you feel ashamed of it. You watch gay porn as an outlet for those repressed feelings because it's something you can easily hide. I think you should pursue the real thing so that you will know once and for all. There isn't anything wrong with being gay, bi, or whatever. We live in an age where one no longer has to be afraid to be who they are.

 

So what is the issue? Just quit porn, and it will solve your problem. Not much else in terms of advice that can help you.

 

Eric I understand what your thinking. I consider myself a straight male who wants to have a wife and family one day. My porn addiction progressed to where I watch gay porn pretty much exclusively and thats what gets me going pmo-wise. When you started watching porn did it somehow progress into gay porn or did it just start with gay porn. One reason why I think I was attracted to gay porn is I was an obese teen and still as an adult and gay porn stars tend to be very fit and because its exclusively all male it shows just the fittest male bodies.

 

I would say that your not gay but the need for newer things has driven you into the gay porn. If you read enough posts on here you'll see guys admitting that they realized their addiction because of the porn they were watching and never thought in a million years that it'd get them going. It's the addiction do your best to stop the PMO and see what thoughts you have. I just got done on a three day binge of gay porn but I'm gonna try again. If you are really worried about it, use it as your motivation to quit PMO! If you ever need someone to talk to message me.

 

Wow, all I can say is wow... Your story is so similar to mine.

I come from a very religious background so the idea of being gay was very taboo. I have made alot of progress, but even now I have to pay close attention to where my attention lies. I don't even allow myself to read articles or watch TV shows that are gay themed. Because it seems to set my mind wandering and become the pre-cursor to a relapse. You are most definitely not alone. If you ever want to talk or need some encouragement feel free to PM me.

 

Hey, you watch porn excessively your sexual orientation can change, say your porn habit starts out watching scrambled Cinemax After Dark, eventually, one day, you find yourself jerking it with raw meat to people pooping on each other. It's tolerance, the normal vanilla stuff doesn't do it for you so you find crazier stuff to get you off, in this case the crazier stuff may be gay porn, could be because you feel it's more taboo. I think If you don't think you're gay (or even bisexual) you probably aren't, just don't be ashamed if you are. Just my suggestion, but start treating it like the addiction it is and take steps to quit for good. See how you are after a few months of no porn, if girls do it for you again then great! If not and guys are your thing..hey, still great! Because I bet you are going to feel a lot better regardless, and a lot of your anxiety might just go away.

 

Completely agree! See how you react naturally!

 

I relate to this. However stop this crap while you can.. My watching of transexual porn has led me to a few different experiences with them in the real world. Hot as all hell, but they had a penis nonetheless. This stuff has really fucked me up. I am attracted to women, un-attracted to men, but I have engaged in some real questionable behavior over the years for various reasons. I am learning a little more about tolerance, being de-sensitized, loneliness, self-hatred. PMO is but a symptom of something deeper. At least for me it is.. So crazy.

 

THANK YOU! Thank you for giving a rational repines to some of the extremist out here EricBlue

 

Hi, Eric. Very sad to read your story but porn addiction is very common in men. Nowadays, even children are addicted to internet and porn. I had a roommate when I was in Toronto few years ago. We used to stay in the hostel for more than two years. He was an addict of internet porn. I saw that he used to masturbate about 2-3 times daily. But he wasn’t addicted to gay porn. He used to consult with many therapists and finally he got escaped from the damn addiction. If I can remember correctly, he was an outpatient in the Edgewood Health Network in Toronto for few months. Also, I had few friends who got addicted to porn. This is a behavioral problem which can be controlled by yourself.

 

Wow I can relate to your story in many ways.

Not sure if you still visit this forum but I would like to know how much progress you've made.

 

Not watching porn helps me a lot. Think of it as an addiction. There was a time when I was addiction to gay porn and read gay sex stories etc, bdsm gay porn. I would sit at the back seat of the bus and watch bdsm gay porn.

Now it has reduced. Though i am still addicted to porn, it's not gay porn and also bdsm sort of disgusts me now. I am not a slave of it anymore.

Though i went through many relapses.

Finding other sources of dopamine helped. Eating healthy food, staying busy, self help videos, cold showers helped.

 

I think like anything you're just addicted to that certain genre , I did once watch gay porn but it didn't really do it for me I had a bigger problem with transexual porn as it was taboo, and I made me think I wanted to do it in real life, you just need to give you're brain a rest from it; for me I watched so much or transexual it just doesn't turn me on as much now what used to drive me crazy. Don't stress too much about it man

 

@Daredevil99

How long before everything settled?
I've been watching gay porn for over 10 years and it's really messed me up.
I'm bi but I really want to connect with women again. I feel like it's going to take a LONG time.
I'm nearly one month nofap but Jesus the urges and fantasies have been outrageous