Why you Shouldn't Masturbate

In the site https://yourbrainonporn.com/ you can be linked to several studies done in the subject, and I don't need to give you the research, you can do that on your own.

I never said masturbation is wrong, as much as I say alcohol is not wrong. The usage is what determines if it's harmful or unhealthy for each individual, in my case it's not good because I have addictive tendencies towards it, as for alcohol I can consume it moderately and not even miss it. If I masturbate today I will end on a binge.

Specifically for the thousands of people who went on their nofap journey their lives have improved myself included so I have no idea why this isn't sufficient evidence for you.

Perhaps I impose some points of view that may be based solely on my personal take on it but for the time I've been on nofap I've noticed how people always tend to want to take shortcuts and loopholes to justify their compulsive addiction and I simply stated that I decided to stop making excuses as well, because I was one of them. If it works for me it should work for someone else, but we're not all the same so every person should do what works best for them, but if they say it's ok to sort of watch porn now and then while being an addict I will call you a hypocrite. A recovering alcoholic shouldn't be drinking alcohol, as much as a recovering PMO addict shouldn't be engaging in it either.

How is anything I said different from this? I gave people advice, it's up to them to follow it or not. Specifically on trying to find loopholes, there shouldn't be any.

I never found any benefit about masturbating, it pretty much ruined my life, my relationships with REAL women, why in the world would I want to feel differently about it? If I find more benefits in a Porn/Masturbation free life why do I need to change my mind about it and agree somehow that masturbating once in a while isn't too bad?

Even before nofap masturbating was making me feel like shit, if it doesn't make you feel like shit then hurray for you.

I'm not shaming anyone and I am an Atheist.

If I tell a fat person they are fat because they eat too much and they are lazy I am not shaming them, I am telling them the problem they have and the solution at hand. Eat healthy and do exercise.

I think saying to someone they can't do something it's unhealthy, I think we are all capable of doing it, but each person needs to make that decision final, not some passive choice or self doubt. I'm here to provide self confidence, not the opposite, and I believe anyone that is determined to do it can do it.

A PMO addict doesn't have the balance to have a healthy sexual life unless they reboot.

I think you are a victim of your own criticism, you are projecting yourself unto me and others.

If you watch the whole video it does explain that for addicts the time of recovery is crucial and any slippery slope can end up on a binge. It does work for me and maybe won't work for everyone but anyone who is serious enough about their recovery should be able to do it. Take it from an addict that has watched porn since the 90's and as soon as I got high speed internet in 2001 I've been watching porn since then, masturbating 3 to 4 times EVERY day and if I went a single day without masturbating I felt like I was going to die.

When I had my withdrawals months back when I started this I got so sick I threw up, had headaches, and felt sick for like a week.

Here I am now, saying the pain is worth it, cause once you're through it you'll enjoy the benefits. I don't believe in half measures, simple as that.

 

Its a work in process and I hope my method can help some people out there.

 

Personally I need to clean out the pipes periodically. My goal is 90 days no porn. My masturbation habits were getting a little out of hand to the point of having a little bit of death grip and soreness. I stopped for 2 weeks earlier this year and everything is fine. I'm more curious to see how long I can not masturbating. I'd like to think 30 days but as long as I reboot long enough to reduce my frequency to 1 or 2 times a week that's fine. I have no desire to be celibate. Sexuality is part of being human. To me this is a healing process to refocus my energy on being a good partner in future relationships. I'm not a monk nor think orgasms are the work of Satan. I see a lot of sexual immaturity on this site. We need to be comfortable with our sexuality not paint it as the devil. It's one way humans connect with each other.

 

Lol I encourage safe sex, deciding not to masturbate is not like I'm quitting my sex life, I simply will make it exclusively with someone else, a real person in front of me, not me alone, jerking it to thoughts or pictures.

Please read the post before replying...

 

Not to reignite any sort of debate, but when it comes to the field of mental health, most studies are far more rooted in social sciences than physical or biological sciences. Hence, it isn't possible to manipulate just one variable, use a control group, or control for bias as easily. Causation can't be declared, and even if there is a statistically significant correlation, it doesn't mean it's true in all cases.

As someone who has actually worked with studies in the field of social sciences, it's definitely within the realm of possibility to let one's own bias creep into the data, whether that be in sample selection, excluding or highlighting pieces of data, or providing a narrative that is purely speculation. Thus, if you have researchers injecting bias and readers cherrypicking – especially if the information is being interpreted by a middle man – it doesn't mean a whole lot. That being said, those data exist and should be true for whatever population from which they were gathered (assuming the researcher didn't rely on outright fabrication), so it's something to consider. Still, it's important to get a mixed bag of articles and actually assess their quality independently before drawing conclusions. Realize that if there were an objective, set, and singular answer to all of this, we would have found it already and no argument would exist.

Articles aside, I've interacted with people in real life who are frequent users of porn and are happy with the quality of their lives and (active) sex lives. On the other hand, I've heard from people on here who masturbate once after abstaining from a long time and totally lose control. Neither case is "normal", and what one person considers a problem and a solution may be considered by the other to be a non-issue and an unnecessary problem. It's very subjective.

Hence, I think the only person that is wrong is the one who insists his view is the only valid one. If you find something that is working for you, great! Use it, and if you find someone with similar struggles, offer up your experience! However, once you begin insisting that view is going to work for someone else, you start making promises you can't keep and can be doing more damage than helping someone.

Long story short, I don't take issue with the fact that people views on porn that differ from mine. I find it problematic that some people attempt to sell them as though they are objective truths. "Yourbrainonporn" might be a helpful resource for some, but isn't the scientific authority it would like to be. Similarly, sharing things that help you in kicking your porn problem can be great, but marketing it as "Why you Shouldn't Masturbate," as though this is a directive that is helpful to everyone, can be harmful to those in circumstances unlike yours.

 

This is my last attempt to explain to everyone what I mean since, most people I guess skip the topic at hand and simply assume that the title of this post is everything, I blame myself from choosing it poorly, I probably should've titled it "Why I think masturbation is not necessary"

Here are the points of my post...

Point 1

People come to nofap because they have a porn problem, not because they have an alcohol problem, are we on the same page? Good, so if masturbation is directly correlated with porn, isn't it plausible that an addict to this sort of behavior would end up in square one if he or she continues to masturbate regardless of not having a reboot? I think if you have a problem you should try and fix that problem, not get small doses of the thing that drives you back to the thing you wanted to quit in the first place.

Point 2

Regarding point 1, an addict for example has the tendency to make excuses, take shortcuts, easier routes to deal with their addiction, I call these half measures. A common phrase addicts say is "I can quit any time I want".

Because I, me, this guy right here <<<< decided to admit that 1, I am an addict, 2, I had no control over my porn addiction and masturbation addiction and 3, these addictions extended beyond and affected my life directly I came to the conclusion that what's best is to stay away from it, to try and change my life for the better. If I can make myself feel normal about not masturbating and watching porn, then I can live a life free of this addiction.

Point 3

I listen benefits that I have experienced personally and I made sure it was the same benefits thousands of other people on nofap have reported. I didn't even listed all of them, like better concentration, more self confidence.

When I was on my PMO life I didn't had these, I lacked motivation and often did the "Before I do this let me fap real quick" I did and when I was done I didn't do what I was set out to do. Now I work out every day, I am losing weight, I am talking more to women, and so on. If my life has become better I see no reason to go back to it, not even half way, like masturbation alone.


Point 4

My last point, if you read my post and identify with my experiences then this is for you, but I want to reach out to those people who take half measures and ask them, why, why do you masturbate? Is it because you can't live without it? When you say, "It's natural" is it a way to give yourself justification to continue on feeding your addiction?

And last but not least, this is not an anti sex message, I want to have real sex with a partner, safe sex. Sex is good, it's mutual, it's real, masturbation is a waste of time and energy in my opinion.

I think if you're on nofap, it was the first step to admit you have a problem, and to not go all the way means you don't want to fully commit to it.

Several studies made, thousands of testimonies mine included, and you still make excuses?

I'm sorry, but I'm not here to applaud your excuses, you either do or don't.

But if half measures work for you then good for you, they just don't work for me.

That's it. Not gonna keep repeating myself over and over.

 

Hello there,

Even if each person is different, I do think that pragmatism is the Key:
1. Is it possible to find NoFappers who have really improved their life without any solo sexuality (M included) ?
2. Is it possible to find NoFappers who have really improved their life without any P but M in a moderate way ?

It seems to me that there are more people who are able to answer "YES" to the first question. Actually, I have never read any testimony from the second group... It is doable to integrate M in a balanced way for non-addict people undoubtedly, but for us, I guess that it would be another kettle of fish.

 

I appreciate your thinking, but keep in mind the posts that you are reading are from people who are active on the forum. I struggle to come up with many reasons why anyone who falls into your second group would keep contributing here. If they made the positive change in their life they were looking for and found a way to healthily incorporate masturbating into that lifestyle, they probably don't need the support offered here, and any messages they send trying to help others would be overshadowed by the majority yelling that masturbation is inherently bad for anyone on here.

I'm not saying that I can prove that narrative, but keep in mind there are over 100,000 accounts and about 20,000 reboot logs. Most are inactive, and while some of these people probably gave up or just disappeared, there could be many who found ways to healthily masturbate. Long story short, don't generalize the experiences of active members to the masses; it's a really skewed sample.

 

Playing devil's advocate here:

"Bad" is a really generic adjective. If something is not abnormal or unhealthy, the "bad" I would default to is immoral, and that's a really subjective view.

Everything we do has both costs and benefits. Depending on what you value, some of these costs and benefits may seem negligible, but they still exists. The some benefits of masturbation might include temporary pleasure, reduced stress, and potentially a decrease in likelihood of prostate cancer. You mentioned some of the possible costs. Even something we tend to think highly of – let's say running as a form of exercise – has benefits and costs. I ran a half marathon; benefits of training included temporary pleasure, a healthier cardiovascular system, and greater physical ability. That said, running several hours a week had costs; I didn't have nearly as much free time, I spent less time with friends, and I had lower levels of energy. Everything has benefits and costs. The goal is to find a sweet spot where the cost-benefit ratio is optimal, namely moderation.

What constitutes addiction is an amount, and that amount depends on the particular person. Whether it's masturbating, drugs, or even something like running, what makes it an addiction is realizing that its costs are far greater than the benefits, but you are still unable to stop. Behaviors that could otherwise be considered healthy and normal are an addiction in excess.

It's a lot easier to become addicted to "bad" things, but that's probably why we call them bad in the first place. People can become addicted to working, exercise, or healthy eating. Again, it's an unhealthy quantity that makes it an addiction, not necessarily an innately unhealthy habit.

 

You start by saying that views of benefits are not subjective but then describe what I call a benefit as ridiculous. If it were objective, there'd be no argument. What we deem good and bad is based on our personal values. I'm not saying your values are wrong; I'm just saying they are not universal. If your cost-benefit analysis of masturbation turns up a result such that you never want to masturbate, that's cool. Don't masturbate. However, don't impose your value system so universally that you declare all masturbation to be bad.

I don't see how saying that addiction is based on amount proves your point earlier. Anything can (using your words from before)"drain our energy" and "waste our time," but that doesn't make all of those things bad. You can masturbate too much, drink too much, eat too much, sleep to much, use technology too much, work too much, or exercise too much; any of these things can drain your time and energy. However, that does't make masturbating, drinking, eating, sleeping, technology, working, or exercising inherently bad.

Again, I'm not advocating for you or anyone who perceives they have a problem to masturbate without abandon. You have your own values, and that's the way it should be. However, imposing your values as universal is dangerous, especially when there are vulnerable people looking for help on this site. Offer your views and insights, but don't try to act as an objective expert.