Worried that I will never find anyone

Take five deep breaths, big as you can. Purse your lips like you’re filling a balloon, exhale slowly but forcefully, increasing back pressure throughout your bronchial tubes, down to the alveoli. Five breaths.

Did you do it?

Ok, good.
Chill out. You are going to be ok. You have all the time in the world to figure this out. Romance is not a race. Sex is not a game. You aren’t “behind,” you can’t be “behind,” there’s no contest, no competition.

Girls are not magical sex fairies that bless or deny you with their wonderous bodies. They are people with insecurities and ambitions similar to yours. Talking to them is easy, because you don’t have to do much talking. Ask a question, a thoughtful one without an obvious, easy answer, but not too personal or intrusive. Listen to what they say. Offer a comment, maybe a short anecdote that shows you understand and relate, then ask another, related question.

In terms of actually looking, actually dating, you don’t really need to be there yet. Now is a time for preparing for college. Now is the time for getting your mind right about learning, and getting ready to branch out of your family, or the more controlled environment of your school, and figuring out who you are and adjusting who you want to be. Romance is nice, but can complicate things. That’s something to think more seriously about after you get some experience and figure out who the heck you are, and what you want out of life. Otherwise, you aren’t going to know what kind of spouse you need or what kind you’re going to be able to support. Take your time.

And your mates who are coming back from break regaling you with tales of all the tails they caught? Lies, designed to impress you and the others, because they are also insecure. Relax. You’re going to be ok.

 

Sup bro. I also am socially inept, especially when it comes to women.

Look, the fact is that you're going to fuck up very badly. I had no real friends until I was 12 and that led to me acting weird and being bullied. Luckily through repeated social interaction I managed to improve my social skills. You can do the same.

Now. Getting a girl is easy in theory but hard in practice. You just go up to them and start talking. In the classroom etc. If they don't seem interested then fuck off. If they seem interested then continue.

 

I am in your same situation except I am 36. I will also say that my junior year in high school feels like only yesterday. Life is so short and so sad. Good luck.

 

There's someone and there's 'the one.' I don't mean to idealize or romanticize it, but what if there is someone that complement you very well but you're just busy concerned about getting anybody? In that case chances are you will be distracted.

Actually I think there's a simple answer to this, which is being true to yourself. Yes it may sound cliche but it also makes sense. Instead of some romanticized notion the better someone knows themselves the more likely they would be able to recognize someone who would be not just compatible but a good match.

 

You are still young, focus on building yourself, meaning mind and body, do well in college, work on getting a good education and job, go to the gym, do some sports. Woman like men with a job and good healthy body, you dont have to be ripped body but you must be healthy. Read books like rationale male, listen to youtube about dating. Read the forums here on cold approaching, lots of interesting tips. Listen Andrew Tate, but not all his advices, some of his advices are good.

 

Sleep well, try to sleep enough, sleep consistent meaning go to bed same time, wakeup same time, do not sleep deprive yourself, sleeping bad will only damage your brain, sleep well so that you can learn better, do better at college. Even Elon Musk says he needs to sleep consistent to perform well, he only needs 6 hours sleep, but dont force yourself to sleep 6 hours, sleep what your body needs, usually 7-8 hours for most people. Eat healthy diet.

 

Don't do drugs, don't watch too much porn, dont watch at all if you can, but yes sometimes we fail and watch, but try to watch as less as possible. Consider religion, I would advice christianity, as a man you got to have morals and stand for something.

 

You gotta come to terms with the reality that it may never happen for you. Whats that statistic, like maybe 40 percent of men throughout history have never procreated?

 

Ok might be true, but do all you can, to improve mind and body, if you must fail, fail trying.

 

mate relationships are not worth the time

splitting from my last girlfriend made me relapse big, her just ghosting me and lashing out at me after the break-up made my addiction worse and the funny thing was it wasnt neither of us' fault how the relationship ended (some jerk who didnt like us being together broke us up).

maybe ill pursue another but at least not now - i wanna focus on getting a new job before meeting someone else and even then ill tread on caution

 

Hey man....when you get a car, start volunteering where girls are at your in community.

Also when you get a car, practice having random conversations with strangers not just women. Women are everywhere and easy to chat up like Bookstores, parks and coffee shops.

 

Easy brother. You're gonna find someone. You might a little behind but you ain't lost.

 

I know that feeling. Don't worry too much, it takes time. Have you travelled much? Sometimes going to new places helps with meeting new people.
J

 

Don't worry at all, I was just like you and I had my first girl when I was 19. You are going on your own pace. People on their early 20's change a lot and everything could happen. Don't think about that just try to improve yourself in every aspect that you can. And definitely you should find a way to start talking to women but don't put pressure on yourself, just do it like you genuinely want to become friends so you can feel comfortable around girls. Girls are great don't be afraid of them.

 

I know how this is because I spent my freshman year of high school at an all boys school. I always felt like I just wanted to meet some girls, but the opportunities were so scarce. Even if I got rejected, I didn't care, I just wanted to have the chance.

But you should know one thing, which is that you'll be surprised how easy it will be. All you need to do is smile, and talk to the girl. If she breaks away, let her go and just try again on the next one. Your success is inevitable.