Would you date a girl who could...

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by ahighertruth, Jul 3, 2020.

  1. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    Cook food really well, was amazingly smart and talented, independent, driven, and a great advisor...but she wasn't as aesthetically pleasing as you want in a woman? I know looks are temporary, and whatever, but I find it hard to fall in love with a woman unless shes physically hot. Its probably how porn and the media has wired my brain, because most hot girls probably don't have any great qualities to them because they can coast through life finding guys to cater for them. What do you guys think?
     
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  2. Bonhart

    Bonhart Fapstronaut

    Being sexually attracted to a woman is different than falling in love with one.
     
  3. AKRO_5891

    AKRO_5891 Fapstronaut

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    This is one I struggle with too. I have talked to men over the years who I’m fairly sure weren’t porn addicts that struggled with this situation as well, the desire to have a woman with a good heart and good looks.

    I’m 52, single, never married, and no girlfriend. (Age in my profile is wrong). And I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d much rather have an average looking woman with a good heart than a woman that’s super attractive with bad character.

    I’ve known lots of men that dated lots of very attractive women but ended up marrying a woman not so attractive but with a great heart. And I’ve known men that were married to very attractive woman but divorced and ended up with a woman not as attractive but with a good heart.

    Not saying that happens all the time but I’ve seen it a lot.

    What does that tell me? Stop worrying so much about her looks and concentrate on her character.

    I went to a New Years party this past December 31 and there were several women there. One was a cute redhead that I was very attracted to. Another was a heavy set lady who I wasn’t so attracted to. I’ve since found out that the woman with the far superior character is the heavy set woman. She has a heart of gold while the redhead is an over sensitive super liberal femi-nazi. It was a good reminder to me not to get so caught up with looks.
     
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  4. I've been attracted to plenty of stereotypically ugly girls and plenty of stereotypically attractive girls. Maybe I can't speak for everyone, but I don't really get to choose who I fall in love with. My brain picks whoever it feels like and I have no choice but to say "well shit, alright I guess".
     
  5. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    My preferences in looks change a lot when being abstinent for longer time.
     
  6. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion you can date a girl like that and have a lot of fun with her, but never settle down with her in any kind of relationship.
    As you described, only settle for a woman that is "Cook food really well, was amazingly smart and talented, independent, driven, and a great advisor" and IS aesthetically pleasing for you. Never settle for less than what you want. Never!
     
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  7. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    I feel you but to find all of that in one woman takes more than a lifetime. I mean this chick makes over 200k a year cooks over 200 diff meals is an author and has a business. Shes been helping me so much in my life. I just dont find myself that attracted to her.
     
  8. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Not at all. That's just your fear talking, there are a lot of woman out there as good as her or even better.
    And that's why you are not with her already so... you already know she is not the one. You are trying to convince yourself she is.. but deep inside you know she is not. Trust your guts on this one, move on.

    At the end of the day is your choice, settle for someone that is not everything you want and have a mediocre wife, or give yourself the chance to know an amazing woman in the future.
     
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  9. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    100% right! attraction is not a choice. When you are attracted to a girl, you just can't handle it. She can be as ugly as it gets, but if you are attracted to her is not going to matter. And there are preaty ladies that all people find attractive but for some reason you don't. And no matter how much your friends told you she is hot, you are just no attracted.
     
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  10. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    I get that. I wouldn't want to lose her as a friend though. She has taught me so much about life. We slept in the same bed together but never kissed or had sex. She is actually a virgin. Having any gf is better than being single. We aren't getting married or anything.
     
  11. LordQuas

    LordQuas Fapstronaut

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    Never, if I'm not that attracted to her, it's not gonna work.
    @p1n1983 said it right
     
  12. I honestly would not or never had a problem being sexually attracted to average looking women. Especially if she has a great character.
     
  13. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    the girl is obviously in love with me, i just don't know how much i can pretend that I like her even though she is great for me.
     
  14. BurgerChamp

    BurgerChamp Fapstronaut

    a girl who knows what she wants in life and who's working on her goals. A goal-oriented person, so to speak. Knows how to cook, too. Good with conversing and has average looks, at least. I am describing my ex, lol.
     
  15. Like it or not, attraction is an integral part of a relationship. Otherwise there's no reason you couldn't just marry your best friend regardless of gender.

    Altho there is such a thing as unrealistic standards that will just leave you lonely forever, if you're not Brad Pitt in his prime, that is...
     

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