Year Four Of: The Weirdest Holiday Tradition You’ll Ever See

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dodgerschokedagain, Nov 27, 2019.

  1. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    For most people, Thanksgiving is about family and being grateful. As for me? Well, it’s been day one for the last four years. No Nut November? Well, that’s like the preseason, a practice run. You know that one kid you always see around here in November and December talking about his “tradition”? That’s me, back again, ready for a new year.

    As I said in Monday’s post: (https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/almost-that-time-of-year-again.258600/) I would be back, and here I am.

    To recap again what has happened over the last 11 months: I grew out of a lot of my insecurities last February-June, and then had to grow out of them again this August-November. The summer slide hit hard this school year and reverted me back to how I was before, but I improved.

    Here’s a more in depth look at what’s been happening:

    January: Began to grow out of my insecurities, but still had depression and wasn’t feeling well.

    February: Developed a crush on a girl I had like a 5% chance with, and began to mature a lot and had good strides but I still had depression and unhealthy coping habits (self harm, no cutting).

    March: This is when I came out of the depression for good, and quit hurting myself (March 9th was the last time I self harmed). I was very scared to talk to my crush but that faded as March went on and April began.

    April: Really began to hit my stride, had some really good moments and had better relationships. Probably the peak of my sophomore year when it comes to my relationships.

    May: Much of the same but my crush had faded, but so did my insecurities for good.

    June: School ended, I was sad but I got over it quick. The last two weeks of school were good.

    July: Not much happened except for my driving school week.

    August: Turned 16, got my permit, and the high of the first half of the year (the best part) ended, had worries about school and I missed last year. School began the last week and I knew something was wrong.

    September: I was back to around February or March. I didn’t like my classes and missed last year. Got bullied and switched friend groups. Not good.

    October: Not the best, but improvement, began to adjust to my new friend group but I still had bullies.

    November: I really began to hit my stride again and by now I feel really solid in my new group (which I knew everyone in it going in), and the bullies are basically gone. Of course, I crashed my car, and now it’s totaled. It’s sad but I know I have people to get me through it.

    Everyone still here? Sorry for the life story haha, but anyways. This year is 28 days, beginning tomorrow. No real goal but fap much less. I can’t go cold turkey it’ll mess up my mind and I don’t need that. My fapping is obsessive but it doesn’t dominate my life, this is all tradition, I have to keep it going. I’m a little bit nervous right now, it’s kinda like oh my god tonight’s the night, but I’m excited to test out my capabilities and hopefully make my rise to the top faster, almost time to rock and roll!
     
  2. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    UPDATE: It’s currently 12:05 A.M. You know what that means. We are off! Here’s to a great 4 weeks of growth with y’all!
     
  3. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY ONE:
    God this is still weird that I’m back here, but anyways. Good day. The fam gave me a lot of crap about my car but it’s all good. I didn’t come close to fapping at all because every time I began to edge I caught myself, however I need to watch it because I know if I don’t keep active like today it’s gonna be hell like last year. Day Two really ups the stakes because it’s Thanksgiving Break and you get too much down time. Only time will tell but I know it hasn’t set in yet.
     
  4. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY TWO:
    Ugh. Tough day of bending but not breaking. I think my testosterone is so high that it makes it extremely hard to not masturbate. This was my issue last year. At ages 12-14 I had a specific system as to when and where I could fap. At night in my room or when nobody was home, that was it. As my testosterone increased I could do it anywhere at home as long as my parents couldn’t see. That happened the summer I turned 15. 2017 was easy because I could just sleep off the urges. 2018 was not because they followed me, same thing this year. Today was hell with the urges. Part of my frustration is that I don’t even need nofap, not one bit. I fap excessively but it doesn’t really have a major impact on my life, it’s not always on my mind, but now it is because I’m forcing myself not to do it, and because the reasons I have for nofap are tradition and a test of willpower, similar to NNN, it makes it worse to be motivated. This sucks because it never happens this freaking early, it usually waits until the third or fourth day to get tough not the second. I wanted to make it until at least Sunday but I doubt that at this point. Oof.
     
  5. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY THREE:
    Alright unfortunately the old urge monster came early this year and I’m no longer in perfect contention, catch my drift? But all day today I’ve been cruising, I have no intentions of fapping tonight, just gonna keep rolling. Unfortunately, Monday may be a snow day, which would mean free time, also my dad is gone next week so one less person around that could be a cockblocker, which I need. I need to be doing something so I’m trying to be more active, and not sedentary. I guess maybe the holiday lifestyle. Also congrats to No Nut November winners great job boys and girls.
     
  6. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY FOUR:
    Good way to begin Don’t Diddle December. I had urges but they were well under control. Good day all around but the challenge is about to change because day five means school, however, we will likely have a snow day. The free time may kill me but I’ll try and keep busy and let the urges pass. Gotta keep rolling.
     
  7. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY FIVE:
    Worst way to break a streak? On accident. But, that’s how it usually happens unfortunately. 10 minutes ago that’s how the cookie crumbled. A streak of nearly three days, but this time, I don’t wanna binge even though that may help me continue. We had no school today but I played video games for the most part, delay again tomorrow but school likely is gonna happen. Just gotta get another streak going, maybe 4 days this time, who knows?
     
  8. Dodgerschokedagain

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    DAY SIX:
    Well, we had another snow day today but we have school tomorrow. It will be good to get back to a routine, because delaying school is never good. No edging at all today, I mostly watched YouTube, played video games, and watched basketball. Glad to see my friends tomorrow, peace out.
     
  9. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY SEVEN:
    Today was back to school. It was a relatively good day, I even tried to stand up for the awkward girl when everyone was talking crap about her. Nobody listened. Our world is so cruel. But, I did finally begin to open up to this girl who I maybe kinda sorta like. But with NoFap, I let my urges take hold of me, but I know what I have to do to avoid that now, and I’m gonna pull forward with that in mind.
     
  10. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY EIGHT:
    So it’s the beginning of week two of four, and I’m out here ballin’. I didn’t edge at all today. The first time since day one that I can say that. Had some urges but I kept busy. I can’t stop thinking about the awkward girl and how bad I feel for her. I know how she feels but trying to help is a slippery slope. Ugh. School is only a half day tomorrow but I’m busy so I’m covered.
     
  11. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY NINE:
    Another day without edging. After school I was busy so I didn’t have any time to edge. It is getting slightly harder (haha get it) now. Hopefully the weekend goes well I’m away on a ski trip which will make it much harder to fap. I need cockblockers for just four weeks can I get them?!?!
     
  12. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY TEN:
    Today was day one of ski season, and I had fun, kept active, perfect NoFap strategy. Today I hit my longest streak of the year so far, at 3 days and a little over 4 hours, unfortunately, that streak is over. I fell to the urge again, but I know my resiliency is increasing. I beat my urges after midnight last night, and right now I have no urges, so no problem.

    I’m still looking for the long streak this year, by that I mean the one that lasts far longest than the others. Last year it was 5 days, and my second longest was I think 4 days at the very end.

    I’m gonna be at my grandparents house next weekend. My hope is to make it to at least Tuesday, probably Wednesday, and then go as long as possible, because if I make it to Friday afternoon I make it to midday Sunday assuming I don’t fuck up at their house (big no no).

    The halfway point is approaching, and I already feel change but there’s still 18 days, almost two thirds of the game left to play. If this is a baseball game it’s the top of the 4th. Let’s score some runs.
     
  13. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY ELEVEN:
    Bruh is Juice really gone? What the hell why. Tonight may be a hard one (haha). The Pats lost because of the fucking refs and Juice died. Why must the world be so cruel? It’s tough. School tomorrow and everyone is finna be a zombie. I don’t know if I’m gonna make it tonight but the big streak later on is absolutely happening. Ugh.
     
  14. Dodgerschokedagain

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    DAY TWELVE:
    Yeah I think that the day 11-13 stretch may be the hardest. Last year it was. Today went from a normal school day to cheat day. But tomorrow I can’t let that happen. I can’t let my foot off the gas because “I feel like it” now. School is going well. I opened up to more people and I’m more focused on making genuine relationships in each class to carry me through my day, like Survivor but not.
     
  15. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY THIRTEEN:
    Easier day for NoFap, I’m back on the right track. School has drama though, my friend and his ex are fighting and I’m on his side but she can’t know it, it’s tough but I’m glad I’m actually in the loop.
     
  16. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY FOURTEEN:
    We had a delay but that didn’t stop the drama, at least this time I’m in the loop. With NoFap I did hit two days, I brushed off a mega urge and went out but when I came back home I failed. Halfway done and a little disappointed, I don’t wanna waste this time especially with only 14 days left, I mean the last 14 days have felt like forever but still. Time will tell.
     
  17. Dodgerschokedagain

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    DAY FIFTEEN:
    I know I’m a little bit late but I had to put my phone in rice last night because my fucking water bottle leaked on it. That caused an insane amount of stress and I just couldn’t handle it and binged but now I’m ok. I’m away from home this weekend so it’ll be easier but I’m not out of the woods yet with the phone and I’m still a little stressed.
     
  18. Dodgerschokedagain

    Dodgerschokedagain Fapstronaut

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    DAY SIXTEEN:
    My phone is fine. My urges are fine. Things are going good, just gonna keep rolling.
     
  19. Dodgerschokedagain

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    DAY SEVENTEEN:
    One of the easier days so far. I made it through and now have an outside chance of eclipsing my longest streak, I have to make it to Monday morning however.
     
  20. Dodgerschokedagain

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    DAY EIGHTEEN:
    Well I always go a little crazy that last Sunday before break. Today was no different. I kind of binged but not too badly. I’m stable right now, gonna make it through the night I hope. I’m already well on my way. School tomorrow means back to the drama but hopefully that cools down soon.
     

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