I'm starting Day 0 today! I relapsed around noon today after not doing it yesterday. My mistake yesterday was giving in to my ruminations and doing a Google search of a P-Sub. Today I gave in completely and PMO'd at work. I was feeling quite depressed and anxious about this because I let myself down after saying (for the 1000th time, mind you) that I wouldn't use porn any longer.. I was feeling anxious because my gf and I have had some intimacy issues lately related directly to this and we made up yesterday and I'm anxious that she may want to have sex and I would not be able to maintain an erection. It was distressing me and distracting me from my job. I was aware of this. I was aware of my thoughts and just allowed them to come and go and decided to no longer pay them any mind.. they aren't productive or meaningful thoughts. This is mindfulness. So I'm starting over.. "14 days", here I come you sexy son of a beotch.
Day 10 If I make friends with my urges, then I'm less likely to push them away, which means I'm less likely to PMO to try to get rid of them.
Day 5/14. People I want to ask you something. It is a little embarrassing, but actually I want to know if someone knows about how to control the erections in inappropriate situations, for example, last time I was with my partner, I barely hug her and I couldn't control my erections, in my mind I'm not thinking in something sexual, I just hug her... but I tried to breath and keep the calm, because I literally just hug her when we lay in bed, but nothing like touch her or anything, it bothers me that I can't be with her in peace... do someone know what can I do?
Day 3/14, doing good, slight urges, perfectly controllable, it helps to help at home and get distracted. Learning to knit
I imagine you may be giving power to this situation. If she is your partner and you're getting erections, don't worry about it. It happens because you're a human being. But clearly this is causing you distress. So what I suggest you do is use the restroom real quick and do some quick breathing exercises. Focus on your breathing and only your breathing for a few moments. If your mind wanders to sexual thoughts or your erection, don't fight it but just simply observe those thoughts like you would observe a bad movie on TV in the background. Then gently redirect your attention to your breathing. How does your breathing feel? Where is the sensation focused? Can you feel your belly rise and fall with each breath? How about your heartbeat in-between inhales and exhales? How long can you inhale for? Good luck. Stay vigilant and make healthy choices! Namaste!
12/14. Today was tougher. Being back at university awakened some things that I didn't have to worry about while I was just with family over Christmas break
1/14 There are times when I feel up, and times that I feel down. Nothing that would actually worry me, but I kind of feel like how I did before nofap. I know that my state of mind, motivation levels, and emotions are ultimately all up to me, but is this a natural occurrence during a reboot?