Hey guys, I apologize for not posting for a while. Quick update on my life: I was really making progress with my life and had a lot of goals for 2018 that I haven't been quite able to realize. With all the stress from college, gym and other things I relapsed and haven't been quite able to start another NoFap streak. But you know, every crisis is an opportunity. I really like posting here and helping you guys out, if you've been having improvement in your lives let me know. Now, the important topic: abundance. I'm always saying that dating is a number's game. If you're like me I'm sure you've heard this advice a thousand times: women are human, treat them like that. You know why they have to remind you of that? You know why we guys see hot women as they're on a higher level than us? Because they have abundance. What is abundance? It is the state of mind in which you're the one who gets to pick who you want to be with out of a big pool of possible mates. That's where the phrase "out of your league" comes from, because you're actually saying she has options while you are just a needy guy who has to settle for whatever girl life throws at him. I know a guy who just found out his girlfriend has cheated on him and he doesn't even know half of the story and he forgave her. Why did he forgave her? Because he thinks he will never find a girl like her, but how good is a girl who cheats on you? The truth is he's needy, he doesn't have abundance and she cheats on him because she knows she can get any guy she wants and because her boyfriend is needy she knows there's no consequences on her cheating. So how do you get girls that are "out of your league"? You reach abundance, you put yourself in the same level as her. You need to be able to have the mindset in which your life is pretty great outside of a relationship, you're good at school, work, the gym, reading, video games, friends, family, etc. You have to make it crystal clear to every girl you date that you don't NEED a relationship, you WANT to be with her but you're good by yourself anyway. Ok so, how do you reach abundance? There's two simple steps towards abundance (simple in theory, hard but possible in real life) Step one: work on yourself Ok, why do hot girls have abundance? Simple, they're hot. But is it just physical appareance? Hell no. They throw off some kind of vibe where they feel like they're queens of the world. And while being a selfish dick isn't what should aim for, you should feel like you're king of you're own world. Build self esteem if you want a great life. Read, watch movies, series, play PS or Xbox if you like, get hobbies, go to the gym, get a job you like, study what you like, meet people and make friends, go out, etc. Make your life awesome by yourself, you don't need anyone else. Make yourself believe that you can have any girl you want because you're a great guy who depends only on himself to be happy. Step two: empirical knowledge Ok, we've all heard that there's a lot of fish in the sea, we KNOW there's millions of girls out there and yet we keep on the same unhealthy needy habits of talking to one, two, three girls we like and think we have to choose from those 3 girls. I've been there, I remember in school I used to like 3 girls and had a hard time chosing one to pursue and ended up with my hand on my dick anyways. Ok, you know the theory, PUT IT INTO PRACTICE. There's no way theory will helps if you don't put it into practice. Empirical knowledge means learning from experience, get out there, make yourself a time each day to pursue girls. Do this: approach at least one girl daily in your school/work days and when you go out on weekends approach girls on bars, clubs, parties, parks, libraries, coffee shops, etc. That way you can know what real abundance is like. The next step is to get numbers, go out on dates, keep it cool and casual and if you really like on of those girls then lock her up, invite her on more dates and if she's into you you'll develop a relationship without even noticing it. ALWAYS REMEMBER Approach is a win-win situation. It gives you knowledge. If your approach works, great, you know which things work. If your approach doesn't work, try something different. YOU WON'T DIE FROM REJECTION. If you approach 20 girls on your first week and get like 8 numbers that's great. Just by beating fear and doing the approach you already won. Fear won't go away and that's a good thing, because fear lets you know you're in a risky situation and you can improve and act better under fear. Keep me posted on how this works for you, I'm starting out on this myself. Peace guys.
Wow. Thanks so much for this post. I totally need to approach more girls. Need to remind myself about abundance, been struggling to believe that recently.
I like reading your posts Erick, finally somebody who seem to get his shit together. Well done and keep them coming!
I always like your post. It reminds me of the vision I created at the start of Nofap and what I should go for. No matter the demon that I call approach anxiety and the fight I'm fighting with it, this vision must be put to practice! A good motivition song: It literally says: "We are the heroes of our time, but we keep dancing with demons in our mind" We are the person that has to do things for us self, but we keep fighting with doubts, anxiety, etc. We have to win and overcome it! Which you do by putting it to practice This is another thing I complete agree on. This also shows confidence.
Abundance = Follow your desires fully and don't be attached to specific outcomes. If you're attached to a specific outcome, you're basically saying if how it is doesn't match my ideal of how it's supposed to be then my life is fucked. Fear of outcomes ties in to being stifled when following their desires. You simply have to be a grown up that realizes that not everything in life works out, but you still have the audacity to try. Abundance for me is being aroused by my own self validating thoughts, feelings, and behavior rather than being dependent on outcomes.
Thanks GG2002. It's shifting from fear towards "I don't know what's going to happen, but I"m excited and curious to find out" + "No matter what happens I'm proud that I go for it 100% despite the uncertainty". You find something more important than the outcome / goal / destination. A way of life. An honest self expression. Life is messy, unideal, difficult, random, chaotic, and uncertain. Not everything works out, but some things do. If you dwell on a specific outcome that didn't work out, then you aren't able to allow all the other opportunities to enter into your life. All you can do is meet life and other people in the middle by doing your best. There are so many people in the world and so many possibilities. Most people try to create too much order and certainty out of the randomness. So when one person or thing doesn't work out, their whole life is destroyed. Everything in this life is so impermanent and fragile. Stop trying to control so much and just learn to flow more. All you can do is follow your desires fully and see what happens.
A breath of fresh air! I'm really happy to see posts like this I've seen so many guys here with a big scarcity mindset. Thank you for helping people expand their mindset
Hey guys if you liked this thread you will absolutely love this one: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...on-that-will-change-your-life-forever.182296/