When I started to slip, That started with finding escorts online. My mind is making me excuses that its fine to find escort because it is not porn. And more over its like Some one was controlling me while I say to myself in my mind not to do that. But its like someone is controlling my physical body with a remote, its not in my control like involuntarily my body is moving towards the escorts site. Like this it started. Then I started to get girls to sext the next day. And things went totally out of my hand.
You are getting to know yourself, and aligning towards what you want. Right now you are criticizing yourself as if there were two of you who are fighting. Treat yourself the way you would treat the love of your life, with respect, compassion, encouragement, and kindness.
Observe what you are experiencing as if you were a scientist looking at your life through a microscope. No judgement, just observation with interest. Examine every part of it you can.