Cravings and Clarity

I think the universe has gave me another shot in getting sober. It's weirdly easy for me to hit a 10-day milestone back in December last year. Then, I started relapsing like crazy around February. Reaching a 7-day milestone suddenly became impossible.

Now, I'm already 11 days in without any real resistance from my mind or my body. But porn flashbacks start popping up in my mind again. I don't wanna mess this up. It took me months to finally get to this point again.

Signs of flatlining has shown as well. My P is pretty much an organ for urinating only. My subconscious is already giving me thoughts to check if my P is still working, which I know is a trap.

To be fair, the last few weeks have made me really busy and emotionally drained. They also gave me many revelations about my future, my responsibilities, and the scale of the problems that I'll have to face in my life. I won't specify what I mean since it's a private matter. But those revelations thankfully became a strong reason for me to put down my phone and interact with other people or go to bed if it's already late. Those revelations kept me awake at night, they instantly made me think of the 5 years that I've wasted because of PMO. Those revelations made me wonder what could've been had I quit porn earlier. Those revelations made me curse the day I started this filthy addiction.

What I need is advices from fellow Fapstronauts who can already get past 10 days without breaking a sweat. One of the revelations that I got is the fact that quitting PMO as soon as possible has become my top priority. If I don't get clean in time, my life will be ruined forever.

 

Oh wow. Your idea about self-love is actually brilliant! It's been hard to me to gain love and affection from others. Now I realized it's because I never love myself ever since I got hooked on porn. Thanks a lot!