THE INTERSTELLAR CHALLENGE !

day 35

 

Day 2.5

I have not posted since Saturday (after my Friday evening double relapse). Anyway, I am still at it and as stubborn as ever, though I realized I am putting undue stress on myself making me act out more, so I am going to relax these next two weeks spending my time reading, writing, and meditating, until work starts on the 23rd. I finally got my teaching schedule for the fall, and I am determined to be one of the best damn teachers these students will have in their undergrad career. I want them to leave my classroom everyday feeling like they learned something new and important, and I want those who hate math to say "You know *Mathman*? He makes me want to learn more of something I have always struggled with". And I want those who are interested in math to only grow more interested so that when they are done at Milwaukee, they will come to me at the end of their school career and say to me, "thank you, you made a difference". I am all about self-respect and personal responsibility and seeking validation from yourself, but as an educator, having a student say that I made a difference would really make my day. I have already had a lot of students tell me that, and when I think about giving up, it is those times that I feel reinvigorated and ready to continue down the road of self and social improvement.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Ok people, day 0 as of now. The streak starts today. No pmo/ hardmode.

 

day 36

 

day 37

 

Day 4 for about 3.5 more hours, then I will be a drone catcher again.

I have been struggling for the last 29.5 hours as I found out yesterday morning that my dog had died the previous night. My sister asked if I wanted to get coffee that morning, so we went out and hung out for a couple hours. We went back to her apartment and watched tv and then I said, "I should go back to my place as I have a therapy appointment." She said we still had time and just then my parents walked in the door. I realized they were there to surprise me, but I had no idea that the surprise was because they were there to say that Louie had died the night before. My dad had let him out earlier in the night, my mom went to bed and my dad went downstairs. He came up later to let Louie in, and he found a couple throw up spots and Louie had gone over to the cloverless grass, laid down and died. I am devastated and struggling with grief. I never said goodbye to him before moving as I assumed I would see him in a few weeks, and now I will never be able to hold him again. I will never be able to give him kisses again, or to hear he squeals of delight when I walked in the house after being gone for a few hours/days.

The good news is that this grief has led to a flatline. Cannot remember when I last had an erection, but it has a lack of urge-induced-erections.

Thank you
best,
Mathman1994

 

Sorry to hear about Louie.
It's tough loosing a four footed friend.

 

I'm in

I have created a war mode NoFap game. Check my signature to join the war.

 

I fail but i will stand up again

 

Pick yourself up friend. You may have fallen but you don't have to stay there.
There is forgiveness and a new chance every day.
You know that pmo isn't the life for you. Hold onto how terrible it made you feel. And perhaps sit down with a pen and paper. And write down the pros and cons to it.
*Hint* the cons far outnumber the pros!
I've been enjoying the simple pleasures in life again, things like going to the park or the lake and just feeding the birds. Things you can't really enjoy when your racked with guilt. Maybe go for a little walk somewhere and just feed the birds. Try to keep your eyes low and don't check out the women but just enjoy the beauty that surrounds you!

 

Day 37.
This wormhole is a new discovery. Hadn't even realized I was in it for a few days.
Soon will pop out the other side. And if our calculations are correct we should arrive at millers planet.

Press out fellow fapstronauts. This journey to freedom in a new found purity promises greater things than you can ever imagine, far greater than a shallow cruel lie that this dragon PMO promises you.

Maybe it's time to ask God for some help if you haven't already. All I know is it's because of him I'm doing ok again. I'm not boasting I could fall at any time if I'm not careful to get my strength from him. But I am telling you that he gives you a whole new perspective a clean heart and takes the guilt and the shame. And if your anything like me it was the guilt and the shame that kept me looping in that cycle.

 

Thanks man, i will do it, i will not give up

 

Keep fighting!

 

day 2 as a farmer