The Lord of the Rings Challenge

That what it feels like to be out of control of something you are aware about. Back to basics brother -Good sleep, food, and study something from scratch to be easy on yourself and grow your self esteem. Life can become of great value if you manage to conquer yourself and bend your reality the way you plan. Don't give up and keep fighting your lower nature by using your mind and logic,your memory and experience to make the right decisions. We are with you brother.

 

Day 21... I have matched my previous record.

This has been the best streak I've ever had in terms of purity for sure, but yesterday was really brutal. Urges came back big time, I couldn't sleep (tons of drunk sounding idiots coming back into my building all throughout the night too. Not sure why as it was a Wednesday night and I don't think even a holiday) and I read a post that made it actually harder to not relapse (happens around here sometimes) and I endured a lot of depression, anger, hopelessness about life and the world etc last night but I didn't relapse and held my ground.

My routine has been getting lazier and slowly starting to fall apart and my internal resolve is starting to fade and I know that a relapse is much more likely to happen soon if I don't fix that as I am starting to act more like my old self which will give me the results my old self had.

 

Day 179

 

Drum Roll Please.... I [PAUSE] AM [PAUSE] A [PAUSE] WARRIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!
@RiseToGreatness Please update the following

 

Please read and help
Guys its been 70 days and till now I might have had 3-4 urges till now but yesternight something different happened, I got an arousing dream of guess what.. a *pornstar* (I mean even typing this gives me one heck of an arousal but I need to share it) but as I had a strong will what happened after that was much more shocking somehow when I was at a point of being you know... being undressed I in my dreams started saying I wont break this streak and I had a numbing pain in my penis and after that the dream disappeared and after 15 min (feels like that to me) I was awake to start my day but I felt this was some kind of a win for me, I would of course like to know If anyone has suggestion on how to prevent this. until then bye
Oh and there was no nocturnal emission.

 

I don't know how to prevent these dreams, but I have had a few about wanting to look at porn and stuff like that and then refused to in the dream. I think it is a good sign as it means the mission has been deeply embedded in your subconscious and your recent promotion to warrior reflects that.

 

0 days

 

Going to reset again. Got to 20+ days but lost count and PMO'd yesterday which sucks, also holidays have begun. So it's a good time to start fresh and see this through once again. Never giving up!

Day 1 - The Dark Fortress, Barad-dûr.

 

395 days dwarf king
471 days no PMO, semen retention

 

73 days.

More stable day yesterday with respect to urges than previous days. Managed to put in a lot of work but also got distracted quite easily. Will try to be more focused on my work today.

Welcome to the warrior squad, friend! Let's keep fighting until we reach Mount Doom.

 

Thanks for the advice bro, I'm sure you will too continue your amazing journey

 

For Sure Brother, lets do this

 

Day 43
Feeling bit lazzy and in morning more urges I was feeling. But after meditation, workout and cold shower started to feel active and urges diminished also..
Yesterday my ex girlfriend called me for sex but I refused to her. It was too difficult to refuse her because when she was girlfriend I always ask her for sex but she always said after few days and never did. Now she is offering me. So I blocked her because when I recieved her message or call I become aroused and chances of relapse increases. BTW 2 days has been passed but still sexual thoughts are coming about her but I am trying to stop all these thoughts and now they are slowly becoming blurred.

 

DAY 13 FRIDAY

 

Day 0. Out of the hospital.

Just feeling sad. They gave me steroids for a couple of days and a cream to rub…

My girlfriend came back from camping and just looked at me with something I can only guess is a mixer of sadness and discuss. And I can’t blame her.

Our flight to start our new life just the two of us is exactly one month from now. And I’m feeling unworthy in general and I’m not sure how to rebuild my life now. And not such a big deal but I’m just so sad right now.

It’s hard to make life changing decisions that would stick just because of shit like that, this is it. If I stop today, I will reach the airport an elf. And right now, that is all I want in this world.

 

389 days

 

Day 28

 

Leaving Nazgul-hood behind. A humble but clear day 1

 

Ok I just read it now but I just hope that you don’t let yourself and your wife down. Is Berlin still the plan?

I don’t know how you managed to do that to your dick but I guess it was the lube. I must smile a little, sorry, but I can imagine how horrible it is to be in such a situation.

Let‘s hope this was a lasting lesson!
Many of us would need such a lesson - not that I wish this on anybody, but severe consequences means effective learning (I guess)

So next time better join the others and go camping, even when you don’t feel like it. 'Cause the addiction produces bad feelings and it wants you isolated and alone on a device.

And another advice if I may: you need to live your life despite your addiction. You need to care for yourself, that you don’t fall into depression and of course for your wife.
Yes of course you want to get rid of this problem and heal the wound. But life goes on even if you pmo a lot of time. Learn to live WITH it before you learn WITHOUT it, eventually.

I hope that was appropriate and helpful.

Have a good day!