474 days. Monk vs relationship (from a former monk perspective)

modern milarepa · Aug 16, 2021

Current streak: 474 days no PMO, semen retention

I was a monk, I lived in a monastery, and also I was a voluntary celibate for many years, I had this notion since 10 y.o to be a free man and my happiness needed to be independent from any external source, including girls.

At some point in university I decided to date girls, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I can say some months with a girl taught me more about myself, than 10 years alone doing meditation.

In Taoism celibacy is considered an advanced practice; they consider that to balance your sexual energy is more difficult while being single.

At the beginning dating girls helped me to balance my sexual energy, also girls have helped me to work on myself, they act as a mirror of your own flaws, they can make you go crazy, angry, lustful if you don’t handle a relationship the right way.

The problem of being alone is that you can simply ignore your own flaws and it won’t matter, with girls is more like being at war you are in the battlefield and if you don’t want to die you need to develop emotional, psychological and energetic strength so you can handle a girl.

As you can see dealing with girls as been more for me a process to help me grow, they are more like a psychological work to me than a pleasure.

Right now I still keep learning from girls, so I keep dating. Maybe later I’ll be back to be alone. Only time and my own evolution will tell.

Conclusion
-See your interactions with girls as a process of self-growth

OrangeJuice13 · Aug 16, 2021

I'm really happy I stumbled on this post. Written from someone with a head on their shoulders and real values, and coming from a place of true experience.

modern milarepa said: ↑

The problem of being alone is that you can simply ignore your own flaws and it won’t matter, with girls is more like being at war you are in the battlefield and if you don’t want to die you need to develop emotional, psychological and energetic strength so you can handle a girl.
Click to expand...

This really hit me in the face with realism. I've been alone for a long time especially due to covid but also my general inward lifestyle, and now it is completely clear to me: the freedom from society, also a freedom of having to face your own flaws, is not a good freedom. Your growth may go on with 10 years of meditation, and you might learn a lot, but to fully develop and learn even more, expose yourself to a world outside of your own.

This thought may be the one piece of the puzzle for me in the past few weeks of trying to answer some important philosophical/ethical questions.

Deleted Account · Aug 16, 2021

Great post. My recent relationship has brought up all of flaws in great amount and has learned me a lot! I was always aware of these flaws but now i realize their destructive impact.

I can vouch for your insight. But now it is time for celibacy again. Working on those flaws and maybe one day give relationships another try.

Deleted Account · Sep 5, 2021

Yes, women will constantly find your flaws. But I think with the one's you like you'll actually enjoy the process.

Quezatolah · Sep 5, 2021

modern milarepa said: ↑

Current streak: 474 days no PMO, semen retention

I was a monk, I lived in a monastery, and also I was a voluntary celibate for many years, I had this notion since 10 y.o to be a free man and my happiness needed to be independent from any external source, including girls.

At some point in university I decided to date girls, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I can say some months with a girl taught me more about myself, than 10 years alone doing meditation.

In Taoism celibacy is considered an advanced practice; they consider that to balance your sexual energy is more difficult while being single.

At the beginning dating girls helped me to balance my sexual energy, also girls have helped me to work on myself, they act as a mirror of your own flaws, they can make you go crazy, angry, lustful if you don’t handle a relationship the right way.

The problem of being alone is that you can simply ignore your own flaws and it won’t matter, with girls is more like being at war you are in the battlefield and if you don’t want to die you need to develop emotional, psychological and energetic strength so you can handle a girl.

As you can see dealing with girls as been more for me a process to help me grow, they are more like a psychological work to me than a pleasure.

Right now I still keep learning from girls, so I keep dating. Maybe later I’ll be back to be alone. Only time and my own evolution will tell.

Conclusion
-See your interactions with girls as a process of self-growth
Click to expand...

I can't see anything good coming from getting involved with a girl unless you want to get married to her but if you feel it's making you grow then you do you.

Deleted Account · Sep 9, 2021

A lot of self-growth and learning about self happens when taking a break from girls and rethinking past relationships, ups and downs, putting yourself in girl shoes.

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474 days. Monk vs relationship (from a former monk perspective)

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