After another couple weeks off, I'm back. Brothers, I didn't know how I needed this time. Here are some updates: - I was accepted in one of the best med schools of my country. I really didn't think that I could get this far, but the hours of studying indeed yield fruits - I went on a spiritual retreat and got somethings back on track. - I finally forgave a friend after betraying me and other friends. I didn't mention this before, it was really dark stuff, but it's gone! Well, my classes will start round June, so I have a 3 months vacation and I'm excited to the things that I plann to do. I'll be here more frequently, of course, this time was just a "showering" from some stuff that were getting in my way of recovering.
You might want to do 5k every morning( not for the word record but just easy run) as an extra for meditation and good sleep.
*Sigh* Day 0 once again. I'm just sucking this week. Today is the first day of doing my own monk mode. So far I've done my 25 minute meditation/cold shower/light workout combo, and I've spent about half and hour reading on bike building. Though I confess I have spent about 25 minutes on youtube during breakfast, but the videos I've watched have been about the spirituality of norse paganism, so I've kept it educational. Quick question: I know the whole point of cutting back on youtube is dopamine control, but do you think it would harm anything if I used youtube to listen to lofi channels while reading, since technically I'm not actually staring at the screen?
Checking in on my birthday, and just about to hit nine weeks PMO-free. Feels like an actual level up experience! The gifts accruing to my life from the decision to reboot (and give up lust forever) far outweigh the sacrifices. Foremost is that I have been able to bear a ridiculous amount of stress (extra busy in my full time professional practice while doing a complete home remodel while raising five teenagers while serving on the boards of two nonprofit organizations AND working hard to resurrect my marriage) without falling into negative PMO patterns of dealing with it. I love how much energy I am feeling from the combination of good health habits and semen retention, and I am enjoying the ensuing mental clarity and emotional awareness and extra reserves of discipline as well. “It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” — Bilbo Baggins
Maybe sometimes it's a good idea to critisize children when they are wrong. I had a similar experience although not on softball but on learning languages. My daughter was eleven back then and she did a lot of mistakes but at the same time behaved very confidently ....she just couldn't take it. I mean the realization/idea of being wrong. I think it's a part of Dunning-Kruger effect with the beginners and maybe better it's you in a firm but friendly way than others in mocking and contemptible.
Thank God I'm not having any sex right now haha. But I've growed in some ways and I can see that not only I'm much diferent towards reality but ppl is diferent towards me. You change, the world changes. And I understood that soon I'll have many "trials".. And I need to remain strong, to be true to myself and to God
Day 4 Everything ok. I had to say no!!! When my mind insisted on its suggestions about MO, then it stopped nagging me. I had a good day at my job. And the journey continues...
As I type this, I'm flirting with Wife on Messenger. She took Stepson out to the local gun shop (he's into guns, not like us, and I'm encouraging him to get involved politically even at 18). He'll be hanging at that store awhile. Meanwhile, Wife and I get to send horny messages. This is the fruit of my not watching pornography. Get this: The conversation started when I said that I had masturbated this morning so that I could relax more, and that the chaser effect had been the reason because we made love last night. That's what I call forgiveness. I love Wife so much, I wish I could say her name here (though obviously I never will). Day zero for me, but at least it's starting well and I didn't watch any erotic videos!
Keep it up! You can do this one day at a time at first, and even 5 minutes at a time if it takes that. Exercise, meditate, keep visiting NoFap, and don't beat yourself up. Also consider reading rebooting related material outside this website. I recommend it. All these things can be helpful. Another thing that helps me a ton is to have a list on paper of all the reasons I do not want to lapse. I look back at the list before I get too tempted, every day is ideal. Hope this helps, people! Good day!
@a_unique_user How has it been going? I saw you recently here and thought I would just kind of randomly ask.
Thank you good advice. Having the list on paper is dangerous for me so I have it here: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/not-going-back.322494/#post-3262918
Day 66 Had an unhelpful dream that then chased me throughout the day, to my shame it made me look at the women around me in a way that doesn’t glorify them - I must persist in this journey to train that PMO response out of my mind. I think I might be developing feelings for a girl I’ve started getting to know better, but I know that being in a relationship will expose me to many sources of temptation so I won’t enter into one lightly. Just got back from seeing The Batman, it was absolutely brilliant! Very different to Nolan’s trilogy but I’m very excited to see where they take the franchise.