The Lord of the Rings Challenge

7 days are Great !! Keep it up ! Im kinda tired but not inna dangerous way.^^

 

Day 1

I'm grateful for this day. I decided something had to change after my relapse yesterday, so I signed up to a 21 day PMO recovery course on Strive21.com. I feel hopeful about it. One of the first things they ask you to do is to find an accountability partner for the duration of the course. I thought throughout the day about who would be a good accountability partner for me, and then when I got home in the evening I realised I have one friend who I can be totally honest with about everything, and who is honest with me. So I texted him to ask him to be my accountability partner, and within seconds he replied with "sure".

Had a quick call with him to agree how we would approach the accountability partner thing, and it was great to talk to him and I'm super grateful to have his support. Looking forward to these 21 days.

Godspeed to ye all.

 

You're here, and you're checking in honestly, and that's what matters.

What do you think would be a step in the right direction for you? Have you considered for example joining a recovery programme like Strive21.com ? Or do you have any ideas of your own?

 

Day 130

Today was absolutely rammed with meetings, but I did have one huge highlight - I saw Iwan Rheon and Owen Teale at the pub! I’m not one to fawn over celebrities but Game of Thrones was probably one of my favourite shows I’ve seen, just a nice moment to see some faces!

No urges, all grand.

 

Day 277 & 278.

Instant quit on interval fasting. It has too many cons. I'm just gonna eat healthy.

 

Check in day 225

 

Day 1

 

day 2

 

Day 30 complete

Yay! I am an elf again.

Doing good, I don’t feel tired yet. I feel good. Not expierencing any memorable urges

 

Day 450

 

Last day as an Orc, day 7 checkin...

 

Day 20 - Hobbit, The village of Bree

Having some minor urges and sexual thoughts. But no fishing or real danger yet

 

Had a rough day yesterday. Started out on LinkedIn where I got a message from some random woman who said she was from China and wanted to know more about my business. It seemed like some sort of scam and my curiosity of “wonder what her game is” kicked in so I decided to play along for a bit out of curiosity. I was thinking “I’m no idiot so there is no risk. As soon as she reveals her scam I’ll just ignore her.” The chat was never explicit or sexual in any way but she asked me to chat with her over WhatsApp because she didn’t really use LinkedIn. This is where I should have just bounced but I did not. She sent me a message on WhatsApp (again nothing explicit). I hadn’t responded yet because I was driving but the thoughts of this situation had consumed me by this point. What was her game? What was she going to ask me to do? Did she need money? Again I was driving thinking about this when the question came to my mind “so you got me onto WhatsApp, now what do we do?” And with that I ejaculated with no warning. I wasn’t touching myself. Wasn’t looking at any image or video. I don’t even think I had an erection. Of course then I was hit with shame. “How did this even happen? I’m such an idiot!” Anyway… I know god loves me and I’m going to screw up but I’m pretty down on myself right now. Haven’t totally decided if I’m going to reset my counter or not. I didn’t look at p, I didn’t m but I did O. What do you guys think? I was on day 442. Now I’m not sure.

 

I fell on Day 7.
Again.

I've been stuck in this loop for some time now...
The 1st time i started off on this journey, i actually did quite well and got to 14 days if not a bit more. But since then it has been reset after reset after reset.
I don't think this is how it's supposed to be. I feel extremely demoralized. My "why" doesn't feel as clear as it was at the beginning.

I therefore feel that I now need to take some time off to truly reset my mind and remind myself why I am doing this.
I need to get my mind in check. Lots of meditation is in my near future.

I shall keep my counter running and keep off PMO as best I can in the meantime but I won't be checking in daily for the next few days @RiseToGreatness

Wish me luck.
All the best to the rest of you.

 

Day zero,
I’m still fucked up. But there’s nowhere to go but up.

@zusya Thank you! I’m not sure if Strive is right for me because it looks really Christian oriented and I’m a non believer. But I think I’ll look for a different program, that is a great idea.

@IveWastedMyTime thank you, I'll try to stay more positive.

So, does anybody know any program for quitting?

 

day 7 yeah

 

Dawn of the 54th day.

 

@a_unique_user

You are doing quite well. Many, if not all, of us experience that initial period of "I'm doing awesome!" After a bit we fall and have a period of difficulty. One idea as to why is that initially this NoFap thing is novel (side note: just now I realized why books are called "novels") and exciting. After a short bit this newness wears off and our old patterns and habits take over. Basically, we walk into this with our addictive mind and NoFap is initially nothing more than the next new thing to go to.

How accurate is this? I'm not the ultimate authority. If it makes logical sense to you then hopefully what I wrote helped.

 

Day 23, went to the gym, i think im creating a good habit. Still meditation is very hard because i cant focus.

 

Day 4 complete - Orc