I am unable to control the urge to masturbate to a friend. I think about her all the time when fapping and that is really getting out of hand. I'm making strange fantasies etc. I dont know how to control, Is it because of my porn addiction? or is it something else? Because I have a couple of female friends and I dont think that way about any of them except for this girl only. Which I was a bit close with. We used to talk all night but now we dont talk much and I think I'm getting attached to her. I hope i'm making myself clear. I'm sorry I'm a creep. I know its cringe but please do help if you can.
Having a crush on a girl and then wanking while thinking about her sounds pretty normal to me. It's called falling in love. Maybe puppy love? Nevertheless, it is 100pct natural for friends to fall in love. Unrequited love is a problem. But, you aren't even sure if it's unrequited.
I feel like this isnt love, maybe an attachment, because we used to talk alot. But love is something different from this. I dont like her as a partner or I dont like her qualities to be my partner, but I yes, I do crave her presence alot, I do crave her attention and I think thats because of some kind of attachment.
Sounds like love to me. We love with our hearts, not our brains. “Thinking” about how she doesn’t fit your image of a partner is using the ole brain. Listen to your dick, it’s trying to tell you something. … and don’t feel bad about having desire for this woman
It's been said that "opposites attract." Many think that the reason for this is that the person your attracted to has qualities you lack. As an example, someone might be attracted to a person that makes decisions quickly - and they take forever to decide something. Later in the relationship, this can be the very source of conflict. So, my advice is this: If you find her physically attractive and beat your thang as if it owes you money while thinking about her, there is no harm done. As long as you don't stalk her (and you haven't said you are or would), it's normal.
the problem is, if by "stalk", you mean going through her instagram and lusting over her. then yes, I'm sorry I've done that, But i'm trying to control and I havent done that in a while.
i've had the same issue in the past... i'd say be mindful of your feelings, listen to them they can guide you... these emotions are a cross to bear if i may say so. ... instead of fapping to her try to make something "a guy you would like to be for her" would do. that's how i would convert the energy. of course if you don't want to tell her what you did to see her reaction, that might be "funny" haha. in your case you might be in love. as a boy it seems that sex and love are kind of mixed with each other within the brain apparently (please someone tell me if i'm wrong i beg you) so that's why i say it might be love. hey you're just nineteen! it's ok to take risk by that i mean DON'T HURT HER and most of all have fun if you can in a way that does not prevent you to manage your small personal duties in your own life that ARE more important.
I don't know where the exact line between just looking at her social media and stalking is located. But, you aren't sending her endless messages, showing up at her house unexpectedly, calling her at work, etc. So, the only problem I'd see is if you are actually masturbating while looking at her pictures online. I'm not an expert at NoFap but that sounds like a p0rn substitute.