Hey Guys, been a few days since I checked in, hope everyone is keeping safe and well! * LONG POST ALERT* I had a realisation couple of days back which I thought I should reflect on over here, in case it may resonate with anyone else. I think one of the main reasons I’ve been indulging in PMO the past months was because I felt lonely. Not from a friendship or family aspect, as I’m fortunate to have both and they are truly amazing. But in terms of being with a significant other. Last year I had a really tough time getting over a great relationship I had with this wonderful young woman who I fell for quite deeply. Long story short, not having that someone that you spoke to everyday, shared everything with and were also intimate with, left a void which my mind tried to fill (quite foolishly) by indulging in temporary pleasures. I can’t believe it’s taken me quite some time to have this realisation but I’m glad it’s here nevertheless. I’ve been clean for 9 days so far, almost tripped badly but thankfully no relapse. I’m also in the process of job hunting (so rn I’m unemployed) which only adds to the situation. I’ve noticed when I’m busy and whenever I have been in a relationship, I never really used P much at all and was much happier. Now I’m not saying anyone “needs” a partner etc to be happy, but I’m just realising that I was looking for pleasure and happiness in the wrong places after someone I cared about a lot just left out of nowhere. Working on dealing with these emotions rather than trying to seek temporary boosts from elsewhere. I will say, I feel like I’m in a better position now than the past few months. Sorry for the long message, I hope everyone here is taking time to be kinder to themselves whilst on their journeys. Keep going and stay strong
Day 52 - Captain of the Nebuchadnezzar Like @The man with the plan , I really appreciate these posts. They connect to the heart of what we've all experienced, or will experience at some point. I've found myself re-reading these several times today.
My daily protocol: Strong morning habits - wim hof breathing (11minutes), yoga (15 minutes), meditation (15 minutes), cold shower (5 minutes) - they boost my confidence and raise my stress threshold. Reading for a specific time or meditating with a timer is also good to train fending off any urges. Still little progress in fending off night urges. But I'm to blame. I keep searching for some substitutes - materials for fantasies. However, this month will be better. Three phases of day - based on a podcast from YouTube: I phase: waking till 1PM (exposure to the sun and cold, forming habits, exercise, working) II phase: 1PM till 7PM (yoga, meditation, hobbies) III phase: 8PM till bedtime (no meals, reading, meditation, dimmed light, getting ready for bed, avoid stress) A good post!
Checkin: Day 2. (Forgot to do a checkin yesterday but Day 1 is always the hardest, got nothing done but was busy with chores so that helped)
I'm resetting. I haven't looked at P but I've been dancing around it using substitutes. All started with a comedic youtube video featuring instagram "fitness models" then going down that rabbit hole and looking into all the crazy of AI and stumbling onto more lewd AI offerings. I resisted going all the way and really getting into it but still feel I need to start my counts over. Today is day 0. This new steak being my last deo volente. I'm also planning on just being on here less. I was accessing the site through my phone. Trying to get away from internet browsing on my phone in general so I am now up on my desktop will try to update minimum once a week.
Day 1 The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. Proverbs 4:18-19
Day 53 - Captain of the Nebuchadnezzar Welcome to the both of you! Glad to have you join the Resistance against the Porn Matrix! You'll both be targets for the Porn Agents, so watch yourselves! Are you sure you wish to reset? I know there are people who use P-Subs (something else instead of porn), and although it's not ideal, it's not porn. Sure, it creates a dopamine spike, but strictly speaking, it's not porn. Nobody's streak is 100% perfect. If you still wish to reset, then let me know.
