180 DAYS SEMEN RETENTION CHALLENGE for those who are determined to truly recover and live 100% otp

Day 5 is on, day of bad urges and learning new strategies

 

Had a wet dream - Day 0.

 

Thank you for cheering me up !

 

Thank you brother! It's good to hear from you!

Glad you are back on track!

 

Day 1.It is so difficult to create a masterpiece on a canvas which is already full of scribbles and it's so difficult to discard scribbles as we afraid to loose ourselves believing we are these scribbles.

 

Had relapsed to MO in the middle of the night. Day 0.Trigger was allowing bad thoughts play in the mind ...What can I do next time ? Be strong enough in my mind to say no to them first and every time and to use the gap .Haven't watched porn but lust don't need porn to do damage,having a well deserved headache now.7 hours in bed but was able to sleep just for about 3.

 

v Thanks brother, now I feel like at the bottom again so to rise is the only option remained for I don't like it here
Day 0 again . This time it was a full relapse, feel like s**t and don't want to see other people. Still have to clean my phone
Masturbated nearly in every possible way whilst watching porn and spent about 6-7 hours edgiing. Why? Maybe it wasn't really bottom yesterday and today instead of following my day's plan I did just one thing from the plan- went to church but that didn't really help and I continued after church. Would have just gone to bed and call it a day but it's still too early. Ugh well, shame on me for doing what I did. I will start my 180 days quest right now again and hope to finish what I have started.
p.s. It was very easy today to give in to the smallest trigger instead of ignoring it.

 

Thank you brother for encouragement and for good advice!<3

 

I hag tried freedomfight before but another plaque of mine is procrastination and I rarely finish larger tasks or studies undertaken on my own. I have started freedomfight course 3 times and never was able to walk even half-way there. As for the recovery nation I have tried this one too but couldn't follow as I felt rather overwhelmed by the good information out there. I seem good at making plans but when it comes to following them I somehow manage to fail miserably . I just finished watching Piligrims progress and I liked it. Despite failures upon failures I have hope because knowing what is good for you does not necessarily means that you will do it but being stuck and by life's momentum continuing in unchanging circles does depress me.