Post published by savedandhealing

Christian Fapstronauts

Christian Fapstronauts

savedandhealing Public Jan 9, 2018

Hi, everyone. I need your help and advice as I progress down the road of recovery. I am 28 and have been married for about 5 years, I have struggled with porn addiction and have cheated on a few occasions in emotionless one time encounters. These were basically anonymous encounters that did not involve vaginal sex, once a bj and the other few times a hj (cheating none the less). As I have matured I’m realizing that I’m living for so much more and no longer want to be burdened by this guilt and sorrow. Recently I prayed and asked for god to save and forgive me of my sins. I have been working hard to beat this addiction and read scripture. I read various things about if I should tell my wife or not. I never plan on going down this road again and the acts were emotionless and I believe fueled by the issues I was having with porn. I’m working hard on my marriage, but I still wonder if I should tell her. I’m not sure of the benefit. What would you all recommend, I read so many various opinions on whether to tell or not. I truly believe God has worked in my life and made me a changed man. I plan on working hard to keep this up, just not sure if I should leave this in the past. I read that I am freed from my past sins and to not be burdened by them. What is your all’s opinions? Thank you

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cornhusker1

It may be a very hard truth to follow, but we are told to confess our sins to others as well so they can help us along life

The Wrestler

@savedandhealing You're still hiding it. Everything that is hidden will be brought to light.

The Wrestler

Are you asking us for absolution? Are we the ones who can truly give it to you?

The Wrestler

Are you hiding from what you know to be true?

savedandhealing

savedandhealing

I have confessed these sins to God and he has banished them. They have been forgotten. Is this not correct?

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savedandhealing

savedandhealing

I know it to be true, but I also now it as in the past and forgiven.

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The Wrestler

So I can murder someone and hide the body, but if I confess it to God everything's cool, right?

The Wrestler

You're asking a very legalistic question - you're asking "how much can I get away with?" but not "How can I honour my wife?"

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The Wrestler

How is hiding it honouring your wife?

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The Wrestler

How is hiding it honouring you?

savedandhealing

savedandhealing

You make a valid point, but I also see the reason for leaving it be. Honestly this is very overwhelming and confusing.

savedandhealing

savedandhealing

I will need to continue to strengthen my relationship with God, which I believe in turn strengthens my relationship with my wife. I’ll pray and reflect on it.

savedandhealing

savedandhealing

I do believe honoring my wife is leaving it in the past though and moving forward as a couple.

Gav5

Not everyone is strong enough to handle issues associated with sexual sin. Women think about things in very different ways. While you yet struggle in other areas it may be overwhelming to you to add this issue.

Gav5

I can only tell you that I revealed some of my sexual indiscretions to a church brother who I was close to who from that point distanced himself. The relationship has not been the same since.

Gav5

Not saying that similar circumstances lead to the same results but it taught me a lesson. Wisdom is the principal thing Prov. 4:7.

Gav5

We do not know the full details of your relationship. Seek pastoral advice and pray about it. But hold off for now until you are a bit stronger. God will guide you.

Gav5

Thanks for sharing your confession. My mother remained and loved my father till death despite his indiscretions of which I am pretty sure she knew. God bless.

savedandhealing

savedandhealing

Thank you Gav5 for your reply, it is certainly very emotionally tough!

Romans12:1

This is a very difficult issue. From experience I can say keeping things from a spouse is extremely damaging to a relationship. You may push it to the back of your mind but it affects how you treat them.

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