-
Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.Dismiss Notice
Post published by BakJo
I saw someone in another PMO-free group suggesting something interesting:
For those who have struggled and keep finding themselves going back to PMO (and especially porn) when they are really trying to stop, he suggested "scheduling" once-a-week faps. His reasoning being that you would be less tempted to look up porn and do "unscheduled" fapping if you had that occasional release. Then once you've done that for a little while, extend it to 2 weeks, once a month, before you stop altogether.
Is that a workable solution, if you have not been able to quit cold turkey? Or why would it be a bad idea?
more_vert
Tao Jones
I did a gradual step-down: First I quit P, then I quit MO, then I quit P-subs and any sort of sexual thinking. So, 100% cold turkey is not always the only way (although the purist in me still thinks that way would be fastest and best). However, actually scheduling MO seems like a bad idea, as it is granting yourself permission to an unhelpful habit. You are making it okay in a way by scheduling it, and this will ultimately be counter-productive. But, just my $0.02. I know others are less strict on MO than I am. I have just found that it inevitably leads me back to P -- so it must go!
HigherPower72, Romans 6 23 and mrothell like this.
more_vert
frogs2345
I would say it is a bad idea because it can quickly become a slippery slope that sucks you back in. You essentially want it more because you know it is coming. Stick to the mindset that you will fight it until the end and that the next relapse will never come. You may relapse, but that would be your gradual step down.
HigherPower72, willy1979 and Tao Jones like this.
more_vert
frogs2345
This is so much an addiction problem after a while. It is a heart problem. Think about rat park. Rats in the presence of good community have no desire to use heroin laced water even when addicted to it. The thing that got me to 30 days so far has been the joy that awaits me for abstinence and the agony that awaits me from relapse. If your life is fulfilling and satisfying, you won't want PMO. You will want whatever you fill your void with. If you fill it with God, you will never be empty.
HigherPower72, willy1979 and Tao Jones like this.
more_vert
Tao Jones
@frogs2345 Amen! Well said! For those interested to learn more about addiction and connection/fulfillment, check these out:
more_vert
Soulherb
I dunno, I think each person is different. If you would have told me I could quit MO completely even as little as 5 years ago, I would have laughed at you. Now, not only do I know it's possible but I'm getting further with each attempt. That reality is only the latest point in a long journey spanning many years where, little by little, sexual purity gained ground in my life like a persistent army. I think its one of those things you have to discuss with the Lord and, most importantly, be honest about it when you do. Too easy to rationalize with this approach.
HigherPower72 and Tao Jones like this.