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Post published by Tom1492
Good Morning, my dear brothers, it has been way way too long since I have posted, and I have to get some things off my chest that have been affecting my spirit and will for fighting PMO. For the last month, I have been in a very bad place mentally and spiritually. It started when I reached out to some long-lost friends and they did not want to talk to me. They proceeded to tell me that I was essentially useless in life and that God no longer loved me because of my addiction and my failures in life. They told me that everything that was wrong in my life was all my fault and it would be better for everyone if I just ended my life so everyone around me could finally have some peace from my existence. The devil proceeded to torture me with these words and tear every inch of myself down. Up until last night, I was planning on taking my life tonight, I had a letter written to my family and few friends I have left explaining why! But thankfully someone actually decided to listen to me and I opened my heart up to him sobbing because I have felt so lost for so long not believing I fit in anywhere even at church. I am slightly better but the thought of suicide is still very present. Because of the way I was feeling PMO seemed like nothing especially when you feel like everything wrong with the world is all your fault. I have decided to rebuild my spiritual armour and prepare for war. I still believe some of the things they said because I do feel like it's true. I'm sorry that I have been such a failure to this community and I ask for your forgiveness.
Samuru1, Henryforward, Fighting the good fight and 2 others like this.
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Roady
Hi Tom, I don't know what to say about these so called friends who treated you so wrong. It hurts me that there are people who dare to claim that God should *not* love somebody. I feel sorry for you that you are hurt so deeply. God still loves you. If someone could say that, it would be me after sinning for years, still sensing Gods grace
Henryforward, Ready_to_Stop and Tao Jones like this.
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Roady
Thanks for sharing so bravely. Here you are at the right place as we all know about it feels when we sin with pornography. We are not here to judge others but to remember each other that there is a Father in heaven, who is always looking for His children coming back Home. God the Lord, friendly eyes, a heart full of love and compassion. His heart still beats for you....
Henryforward, Ready_to_Stop and Tao Jones like this.
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CPilot
Take heart! God does not allocate, love, mercy and forgiveness according to standards of humans. Even the most perfect being to ever walk the face of the earth was despised by a large group of society. Clearly, the opinion of other human beings does not matter. Only God's opinion of you matters and God stands by waiting patiently for you to come to Him. He loves you no less than the moment he created you. I am living proof of that. I committed this sin, time and time again for 5 decades but God waited patiently for the perfect moment and circumstance to show me the way out of the abyss.
Henryforward, Roady and Ready_to_Stop like this.
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Tao Jones
I feel like praying an imprecatory psalm in the general direction of your friends. May they reap what they have sown, ten-fold. God loves them, too, of course, but his righteous anger burns against any who would speak such horrible lies about him and one of his children. @Tom1492 , you simply must stop listening to and believing lies. You know the truth: You are God's beloved child. He has moved heaven and earth to be with you, and he will never leave you. Believe and walk in the truth that sets us free!
Henryforward, Roady, Ready_to_Stop and 1 other person like this.
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Fighting the good fight
James 2:10-13
For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. For He who said, "Do not commit adultery," also said, "Do not murder." Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
Ready_to_Stop, CPilot, Tao Jones and 1 other person like this.
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Fighting the good fight
Anyone who thinks they are better than you and are not trying to encourage you to live holy has a spirit of pride controlling them. If they are accusing you like Satan did then that’s pride. The Holy Spirit will convict us to repentance. But, once we repent He is faithful and just to forgive us. You must fast and spend more time before the Lord to become whole again. Keep reaching out to the Lord. He will give you true friends that will encourage your walk of purity.
Ready_to_Stop, CPilot and Henryforward like this.
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PatrickJames
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
Ready_to_Stop, CPilot and Tao Jones like this.